Saturday, May 01, 2010

Caught in a Tornado

Wow. For those of you who have adopted, I give you credit. Having adopted strictly through the foster care system I didn't have the whirlwind of decisions to make regarding agency, country, cost, need... it feels like I'm caught in a tornado of decision and I don't know which way to turn or which direction is up anymore. I've been frantically asking questions, but things aren't coming out right, and I don't even know where to begin. What a process!

Now that I feel God's leading toward another, out of foster care, adoption, it's hard to process all of the need, all of the options, all of the decisions there truly are. I know I am stepping out in faith, and I know that God will provide, but there is still that part of me that longs for control, that sees a "cost" of $28,000 and gasps. For how on earth could I ever afford that. But, that's just it isn't it, I couldn't (on earth) ever afford it, but if I am truly step out in faith, then I am trusting HIM to provide it. And then my mind whispers, wouldn't it be easier for Him to provide $13,000??? Why $28,000??? And around and around the whirlwind takes me.

Last night I rented Facing the Giants. I knew nothing of this movie, but saw it in the Redbox and took a chance. LOVED it. Loved the lesson on faith. Loved the lesson on praising God, win or lose. Loved the teaching of trusting Him to meet our needs. And it was just what I needed to begin to calm the storm raging within. To begin to slow the whirlwind, and allow God to speak. To trust that I need to keep following, not worry about the research right now, and just believe that He has me on the path He has created. I know He has a child in mind for us. I believe that He will reveal the pieces when they need to be revealed. We won't "miss out". And I choose to trust that the money will not be an issue. I will follow.

3 comments:

Molly said...

I assume you've seen the Reece's Rainbow website? if not it's www.reecesrainbow.org It's all kids with special needs, like DS, HIV, etc. There are some gorgeous baby muffins on there! and I have seen time and time again the miracles that happen. I've seen families raise $25,000 SO many times, even when it seems impossible. Plus there are grants.

hitchhiker said...

I think DOMESTIC adoption - baby girl!

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I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!


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Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
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Little did I know that love could be so powerful
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Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
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But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
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