Monday, May 24, 2010


It's already been quite a Monday morning... and I must admit my voice has been louder and stronger than makes me comfortable admitting.  Our weekend was filled with ups and downs as well.  For many of you, what I'm about to say fits in with what you have experienced yourself with your children who have experienced trauma, but for many "regular" parents, this is foreign territory.

Olivia has been a pill.  Plain and simple.  And yet, I know exactly why, I know what her triggers are, and yet I can't help sometimes but be pulled into the drama, get my temper rising, and then regret things I say or how I saw them.  It's almost the end of the school year.  Not a big deal you say, that's normal you think, what's the big deal?  Right?  Wrong!  For Olivia, it's structure, it's routine, she knows what's coming next.  The summer, with it's not knowing what we're doing when, of having so much more free time, of changing what is happening now, that is frightening to a child who has had control and/or attachment issues.  Don't get me wrong, it's not about school itself, or not wanting to be at home.  We will have these issues once again when school resumes in the fall.  It's like the tide, it comes and goes at semi-expected times.

And yet, she doesn't understand this.  She can't "control" it.  It's out of her scope of understanding.  I as the parent need to help her understand.  I need to help her put words to the feelings that may be going on inside her.  But... alas... when it's 6:30 in the morning and you are just plugging away in the normal routine of everyday, when it's not "expected", it's easy to forget these things, easy to get caught in the frustration.  When your eight year old, doing her "job" of clearing the table steps in front of the six year old doing his job of emptying the CLEAN dishes from the dishwasher, ignores that fact, and puts the dirty dishes right into the midst of all those clean ones.  When you ask her why and she looks at you as if you have two heads and says she's doing her job and then continues for the next 30 minutes to refute each thing you try to tell her or talk to her about (not related to those dishes).  When she doesn't listen to what you say and then gets mad at you because she doesn't understand... WHEN... over and over for almost 40 minutes...  it's tiring...

Lord, I pray for patience.  I thank You for how far Olivia has come.  I praise You that she no longer "sabbotages" consequences and discipline, that she has learned to slow herself down to talk, that she knows how to give great hugs.  Help me to show Grace, Forgiveness, and Understanding.  Amen


angie said...

I love your blog! I have an 8 year old foster daughter that we are hoping to adopt- it's been 2.5 years- and she sounds so very similiar to Miss Olivia!

I have a question for you- Olivia's hair is always just beautiful, what products do you use on her? my email is if you have a chance to share! Thanks!

Lisa said...

Hi Angie, and thanks!!! Truthfully I use mostly generic things. I love Carol's Daughter products, especially the Hair Milk and Loc Butter, but haven't purchased them for a while (trying to save that money you know!) :). With her hair short we pick it every day wet (if she remembers, I'm trying to get her more independent at least with asking me to do it for her since she can't really do it herself. Now she decided to grow it out again! Go figure! :) (She hates getting it picked at all!!!) Really she wants to straighten it but since it's so much money and you have to keep it up every six weeks, I'm just not in a position to do that for her yet, maybe when she's older and can really decide. :) Thanks for your comments!!!

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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What you should know about HIV

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
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• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you