Olivia has been a pill.  Plain and simple.  And yet, I know exactly why, I know what her triggers are, and yet I can't help sometimes but be pulled into the drama, get my temper rising, and then regret things I say or how I saw them.  It's almost the end of the school year.  Not a big deal you say, that's normal you think, what's the big deal?  Right?  Wrong!  For Olivia, it's structure, it's routine, she knows what's coming next.  The summer, with it's not knowing what we're doing when, of having so much more free time, of changing what is happening now, that is frightening to a child who has had control and/or attachment issues.  Don't get me wrong, it's not about school itself, or not wanting to be at home.  We will have these issues once again when school resumes in the fall.  It's like the tide, it comes and goes at semi-expected times.

And yet, she doesn't understand this.  She can't "control" it.  It's out of her scope of understanding.  I as the parent need to help her understand.  I need to help her put words to the feelings that may be going on inside her.  But... alas... when it's 6:30 in the morning and you are just plugging away in the normal routine of everyday, when it's not "expected", it's easy to forget these things, easy to get caught in the frustration.  When your eight year old, doing her "job" of clearing the table steps in front of the six year old doing his job of emptying the CLEAN dishes from the dishwasher, ignores that fact, and puts the dirty dishes right into the midst of all those clean ones.  When you ask her why and she looks at you as if you have two heads and says she's doing her job and then continues for the next 30 minutes to refute each thing you try to tell her or talk to her about (not related to those dishes).  When she doesn't listen to what you say and then gets mad at you because she doesn't understand... WHEN... over and over for almost 40 minutes...  it's tiring...

Lord, I pray for patience.  I thank You for how far Olivia has come.  I praise You that she no longer "sabbotages" consequences and discipline, that she has learned to slow herself down to talk, that she knows how to give great hugs.  Help me to show Grace, Forgiveness, and Understanding.  Amen