I admire Olivia's courage of sharing herself, her heart, and her HIV status on her blog.

Braeden was extremely courageous getting back on a two wheeler yesterday after falling off and needing mom hugs for a few minutes.

And Liam, he HAS to have courage to stand up to mom the way he often does, despite both of our frustrations over that same stubbornness. 

BUT, can you or I even FATHOM the courage it takes a child, a small child, not knowing anything outside of their own piece of the world, to truly believe that a family across the world may possibly want a body part or two from them, which is why they're asking them to come visit, and then to STILL get on a plane, fly 30 hours, to visit that family???  Because that is what most of the children who are coming to America this summer on our hosting program believe.  That is what they have been told and taught.  After all, they are DIRT in their country.  They have been told they are NOTHING.  And then some nice looking woman shows up, with a doctor, to interview these ORPHANS.  And CHOOSE only some to potentially come to America.  What else would they think?  Who in their right mind would choose them for good?  They are DIRT.  They don't know God.  They don't understand LOVE.  They think that we want their body parts.  And yet, they take that leap of faith.  They trust in a plan they know nothing about.  They are not even told of the family who is taking them in, or shown our welcome letters to them, until they are on the plane.  And yet they COME.  How BAD must their situations be to leave that and come on what they think could turn into HORROR?????

Yesterday I had a training session for our hosting of Davids this summer.  For the most part, it was not informative for me.  I've been through much more training and probably could've corrected some of what they "taught" myself on RAD, and attachment, and "retardation." But I held my tongue.  It wasn't the place.  What struck me the most though is that the couple doing the training hosted three boys from Latvia over Christmas.  (They are in the process of adopting them now.)  The first night they put them to bed there were tears quietly streaming down their faces.  You may think, sure, tears of missing their "homes."  Nope, they were tears of RELIEF.  For they had realized that this trip was ok, the family was ok, and their body parts were NOT going to be harvested.  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?

It just BLOWS MY MIND!

Here we sit in our lap of luxury.  Yes, I said lap of luxury.  For as little as some of us here have, and I admit I at times quite envious of larger, nicer homes.  We have a 1 1/2 story, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, unfinished basement, no garage, and are located next to the sewer plant! :)  For as small as it is, it's great.  It's clean.  It has heat and water and comfort and toys.  It's ours.  It's LUXURY.  We sit here, and we see things from our perspective.  "Oh, I'm going to host a poor orphan and won't they have a wonderful vacation while they're here."  Granted, it's not QUITE this thought, but close, right!?  And yet for them, this could be their death.  THAT is what THEY are thinking.  But still they COME!  It amazes me the amount of COURAGE that that entails!  Just amazes me!

I was near tears a few times yesterday.  Because this little boy...

is trusting OUR FAMILY.  He is trusting US to take care of him.  And I already hold him dear to my heart.  But will I be able to complete an adoption of this child of God?  I don't think so.  Even if money weren't an issue, which unfortunately it is, his country takes THREE TRIPS!  How could  I even DO THAT as a single parent, a teacher?  Oh how I wish he could just stay and an adoption could be completed while he stayed.  I DREAD the day I take him back to the airport, and he's not even here yet.  How do you DO THAT???  

I am praying for strength!  Pray with me!