Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Large Families

I read a number of foster and adoptive blogs which I LOVE. Many of these are larger families, which is so interesting and exciting to me. I long to build my family. I love adding children who desperately need homes and giving them a solid foundation and somewhat "normal" life that they may not have had otherwise. I love seeing the people that each child is turning out to be. I love them.

It always surprised me when I read some of these blogs and heard from them some of the negative reponses they have received from people, including church families. I have started getting some of this myself, at only 4 children. I do understand where people are coming from. Yes, I only have a certain number of sick days with my job and unfortunately usually go beyond these. Yes, using so many days due to sick kids does impact the kids I am supposed to be teaching at school. I leave good lesson plans (I think anyway) but they struggle with change and structure and it's hard when I'm not there. And yes, maybe each of my kids isn't getting the attention they would in a smaller family size.

BUT, I love my kids. I love seeing them grow into caring brothers and sisters. Even to siblings who haven't been with us long and may not continue to be with us for whatever reason. I love helping kids who have been through a lot in their short lives to have a childhood that may have been lacking prior to coming to our home. I feel called to these children. It states in the Bible that we are to care for widows and orphans. I don't know any widows. But there are plenty of orphans I can help.

Do I wish I had a husband to help with support and discipline and finances and sick days, maybe. Do I wish I had family close by who could help if needed, sometimes. Do I wish I hadn't taken on so many kids, never. I believe God has brought each and every child that has passed through my door for a reason. I may never fully understand why, but these children were meant to be a part of my life. They have taught me more than I have taught them. They are my children. Olivia and Braeden and Liam are mine same as if I'd given birth, and those who haven't been through adoption or foster care maybe can't fully understand that. To suggest that maybe I need to let one of them go live somewhere else to focus on the children I do have is like saying I need to cut off an arm to focus on my legs. Girlie I love so very much but am still at the point of figuring out if she may do better somewhere else. I can't explain it. She was one who seemed like maybe she would be going home, mom was doing real well, but now she may not be going home. I have prayed for that decision and am still at a crossroads.

I've also been praying for an answer to the question of whether or not I should try to search out a work-from-home situation. Maybe that would help and would allow me to be home more for my kids, which I would love. But to give up a secure job with health and retirement, etc, is that what I am called to do??? I just don't know. A lot of prayer in these things lately. Money is becoming not a problem and I love that. Taking extra sick days isn't such an issue of money anymore, which is so freeing. But I know that stopping my number of kids isn't what I am meant to do. I know that. And it makes it so much harder to feel like you are losing some of your support because you choose to help children.

Does that make sense?


Rebecca said...

AMEN TO THAT!!!! I have not written a lot on my blog because of the comments that I got. You do what the Lord has called you to do --usually it is not the "popular" way!

Also with girly follow your heart. The Lord will guide you! There was one girl that we had that went up for adoption. I had a very hard time knowing if we should adopt her. When I prayed about it the Lord said VERY clearly. "Sometimes I will use you to only plant the seed, but I will have someone else water the seed and watch it grow." I found so much peace in that and we did not adopt that girl. The family that did was PERFECT for her and she is doing wonderfully!!!! God bless you and your beautiful (growing) family!!

Runergirl said...

You do what feels right to you! Those children are so lucky to have such a loving, wonderful mother, and you are lucky to have them. Carry on with your bad self:)

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
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• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
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• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

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Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
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Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
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