I had our monthly home visit tonight with our new caseworker. She seems really nice and to be trying hard to figure things out. It's a lot to find out as you go as communication is not always the best. I talked with her for a while tonight about my concerns for and with Girlie. I had Braeden and Olivia go play somewhere else, it's just information they don't need to worry about. I shared a lot that is on my mind with long term as knowing some of the family history and all that's going on lately, she could easily not be going home. I talked about my concern of RAD and that I am unsure if she is meant to be a forever part of our family, but that I would like to be a stable placement as long as I can. Even if that means until termination and we can transition to a good adoptive family. My other concern is that if mom is indeed pregnant, I don't know if I can take a newborn if I decide Girlie is not to live with us forever. A newborn means my mom coming to help for the 6-7 weeks until they could start day care, up at night while working during the day. Etc. All of which I've done, did with Braeden, and would be happy to do again, IF it was a situation where they probably weren't going home. But if I took it on knowing they weren't going to stay, I think it's too much. If that makes sense. It's just really a lot to think and pray about. What is best for Girlie in the long run? I hope to touch base with the agency therapist this week. She doesn't start to see kids until age 3 but I'm hoping she can talk with me and sort some of this out. There is just no way to know for sure, which I do understand. It's a leap of faith, but I don't want to regret it for any of us 6-10 years down the road.

Anyway, to the info I shouldn't have, the cw went on to tell me that she shouldn't tell me but would, that they were looking at trying to expedite termination in her case. Also, IF mom is pregnant, which she doesn't seem to believe, and mom has the baby in IL, then supposedly the baby will most likely be taken immediately and they will try to expedite termination on the baby as well. Now, what that exactly means I'm still figuring out. I'm going to talk to some people this weekend hopefully. I don't know how quick an expedited termination could take??? So, may have less time to think than I originally thought, but maybe that's good???