Sunday, September 14, 2008

Attachment Cont'd

This was my favorite page in the booklet we worked through yesterday...

In working with children who have attachment needs, you may find the following points helpful:

These behaviors developed over a long period of time. Addressing the behavior will also be a lengthy process.

You are not handling an incident. You are handling what has become the child's overall approach to life. Everything that you build into your home to create structure and stability and to ensure safety and well-being is part of the discipline process.

Realize that other parents, and even professional, may not understand what you are going through. Expect a range of responses and even judgements.

At least initially, and probably for quite a while, you cannot expect to get the rewards and joys that parenting usually brings. Just knowing this will help you to adjust your expectations and think about ways to ensure that your emotional needs are met elsewhere.

Realize that the behavior is not about you or your parenting. Knowing this will help you to remain more objective and to control what will sometimes be overwhelming feelings.

All - so true.


Torina said...

Great posts on attachment! I think you are such a strong person for recognizing that Girly wasn't a good fit in your family.

As for the love cures all thing. My own little personal belief that it is we, the parents, who need the love and if can provide unconditional love for the child no matter what they do for us, then that is what gets US through it. It may not do anything for the child but it is what helps us as parents. Like your love for Olivia even though she has had to learn to reciprocate. Your love and attachment to HER are so strong. It keeps you going while you teach her and guide her through life...

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I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

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Macy - 5

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