Thursday, September 25, 2008

Control

Tonight was "mom's night out" again. Last week I took Braeden out. This was supposed to be Olivia's week, but last week she did not do what she needed to on her homework, because I wasn't there. She had to know I would check it. Obviously a sitter is not going to know what she can do and therefore doesn't expect anything but for her to finish, so she was going to take advantage of that, and did. I let her know I was disappointed in her work, she knew exactly what I was talking about, and that due to that choice she would switch her week with my week. I would give her another chance to show me she could do her work the way it needed to be done. I made it clear I really wanted to do something with her, so I really hoped she could do it, because I knew she could.

Next week we're doing "mom's night" on Tuesday, and Olivia wants to get her hair braided (J found someone here who did cornrows on her daughter for $25!!! It took 1hour 45min!!!). I waited to make the appt though until after tonight.

She did her homework and did it well!!! I knew she could! :)

But, when I got here the sitter said, "Olivia is, um, sort of, controlling at times?" I've heard this before. Mostly from my mom. If I'm not around, Olivia takes it upon herself to tell the boys what to do, tell my mom or the sitter how to do their job, etc. I see it a little myself, but am pretty quick on letting her know that her job is not to boss or control, but to just be a sister. And we work on that. She still does it, but not as much as what I think she does when I'm not around. The sitter obviously saw a lot of it tonight. She said she had to keep telling Olivia to just play and have fun. Sad that you have to tell a child to have fun and play. :(

So how to respond to that? She did her work, and that was the stipulation for spending time with me Tuesday. I also don't want to take that time away because I think she really needs the one on one time, even though she would rather be home with the sitter many times. :) Consequences? Talks? I so worry about her with friends as she gets older. I wish I knew how she was/is with them. Does she try to control them? I don't think so. I've always seen her more as a follower with them.

On the up side I found her a great therapist in town! And she takes the medical card! Such a hard thing to find together! I guess she's hard to get in to, but I talked with our school social worker and she knows her and recommended her as someone she would send her own kids to, and she called her herself. She's expecting my call. :) I'm calling tomorrow!

2 comments:

Julie said...

Yea Olivia-for good homework! i am sure it is hard to be the big sister and not bossy- i think that usually come naturally- my sister did it to me- and I did it too with my little sister- sadly now SHE does it with all of us! ha!- :( I am glad you found a therapist for her-

Runergirl said...

I love all of your ideas:) I sometimes wish I could plan some time for each baby but it seems impossible!

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I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!


Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

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