Thursday, July 31, 2008


There are a lot of things about doing foster care that I just don't understand how or why they "work" that way. But the biggest by far are the bio parents. Most, many, some, I guess it depends on each situation, but MOST of the ones I have dealt with I just don't "get." I don't understand first of all how they could even "do" some of the things to the children that I have seen done. I know in my head that drugs and other things have a debilitating effect on people. That with certain pasts and circumstances and influences people have a hard enough time taking care of themselves let alone a highly demanding, dependent, child. I do "get" that with my head. But my heart gets torn time and again by the situations my lovies have gone through or continue to go through. And yet this system these children find themselves in the middle of, tends to care more for the rights of these parents than the children who become the victims.

I don't understand a system where a 3 month old child, beaten within an inch of his life, with broken ribs and a permanent shunt in his head, who was at home alone with mom when all this happened, can be "made" to have 2 visits a week with this same mom to "continue the bonding process." This is not a situation I have dealt with personally, but it is a real foster situation happening "out there" as we speak. I don't get that.

But I also don't "get" M and W's parents. Their sister E was in care a year. The parents were doing great (as far as we know). They were to get E back, and they blow it. They then lose the boys. An 8 year old who knows what is going on yet is having such a hard time understanding, who just moved in with his mom and her husband in November. And an innocent 6 month old baby who was born while E was in care.

Since July 2, they have not shown up for anything. Not for meetings, not for visits with E, not even for court this past Tuesday. Today they were to visit with all 3 kids, the first time they would have seen the boys since they were removed. Our agency has to pick up E here from my friend's, drive north 40 minutes to pick up the boys from their grandparents, then drive southwest 10 minutes to the McDonalds they were planning to meet at. The worker even called the parents this morning to make sure they were coming, and the transporter picked up all 3 children. Shortly after, the parents called the transporter to tell her they weren't coming. They had a flat tire. Sounds feasible, except it's the same EXCUSE they have given the past FOUR times they were to come somewhere regarding this case. !@!!!!@!!!! M just kept asking why the transporter thought that they weren't showing up for things, she just said they couldn't. I'm sure he knows. He just wants someone else to acknowledge it too. Unbelievable!!!

I just don't get it...


Julie said...

makes me sad- but your right- it happens all the time. i dont' understand how people can just leave their children like that.

Linda said...

Having been a foster parent for the past 12 years, I too have seen a system that is there to protect and encourage (or enable) the birth parents far more than the child in care. I don't understand and it is very uncomfortable to be in disagreement with the choices that are made for these kids that have nothing to do with what is best for them- it all seems geared for the adults that have committed the abuse/neglect to the defenseless child with no voice or power. It just doesn't make any sense and can be very discouraging.

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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What you should know about HIV

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website:

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you