There are a lot of things about doing foster care that I just don't understand how or why they "work" that way. But the biggest by far are the bio parents. Most, many, some, I guess it depends on each situation, but MOST of the ones I have dealt with I just don't "get." I don't understand first of all how they could even "do" some of the things to the children that I have seen done. I know in my head that drugs and other things have a debilitating effect on people. That with certain pasts and circumstances and influences people have a hard enough time taking care of themselves let alone a highly demanding, dependent, child. I do "get" that with my head. But my heart gets torn time and again by the situations my lovies have gone through or continue to go through. And yet this system these children find themselves in the middle of, tends to care more for the rights of these parents than the children who become the victims.
I don't understand a system where a 3 month old child, beaten within an inch of his life, with broken ribs and a permanent shunt in his head, who was at home alone with mom when all this happened, can be "made" to have 2 visits a week with this same mom to "continue the bonding process." This is not a situation I have dealt with personally, but it is a real foster situation happening "out there" as we speak. I don't get that.
But I also don't "get" M and W's parents. Their sister E was in care a year. The parents were doing great (as far as we know). They were to get E back, and they blow it. They then lose the boys. An 8 year old who knows what is going on yet is having such a hard time understanding, who just moved in with his mom and her husband in November. And an innocent 6 month old baby who was born while E was in care.
Since July 2, they have not shown up for anything. Not for meetings, not for visits with E, not even for court this past Tuesday. Today they were to visit with all 3 kids, the first time they would have seen the boys since they were removed. Our agency has to pick up E here from my friend's, drive north 40 minutes to pick up the boys from their grandparents, then drive southwest 10 minutes to the McDonalds they were planning to meet at. The worker even called the parents this morning to make sure they were coming, and the transporter picked up all 3 children. Shortly after, the parents called the transporter to tell her they weren't coming. They had a flat tire. Sounds feasible, except it's the same EXCUSE they have given the past FOUR times they were to come somewhere regarding this case. !@!!!!@!!!! M just kept asking why the transporter thought that they weren't showing up for things, she just said they couldn't. I'm sure he knows. He just wants someone else to acknowledge it too. Unbelievable!!!
I just don't get it...
2 months ago