Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Well, my letters reached their destinations today. I was also supposed to have a home visit today with the new caseworker and the supervisor, the one who told me that my name would not be used. Nice timing. (I so despise confrontation).

I received a call at 4:15 (the home visit was to be at 4:30) to basically make sure I was home and tell me that they were on the way, that they received the letter today, and that we would discuss it then. Of course they were late.

Not five minutes after they called, I received another call. Thinking it was them, I answered, but it was Liam's CASA worker. She had not been at court, but her supervisor had. She said that she had heard about court and was sorry to hear what had happened, that it should not have happened. She went on to tell me that her supervisor, who had been at court, had just called her to fill her in and asked her to call me to let me know that the judge received my letter today, read it, and there was going to be some big meeting about it! I was glad to hear he had read it, I really didn't know if he would, and that he had taken it seriously. I thanked her for the information.

Finally the caseworker and his supervisor arrived. They didn't waste time talking about the letter. And the supervisor completely denied ever saying that my name would not be used! He said that he had told me he would check into whether or not they could do that, not that they had agreed to do that! OK, well, IF that had been true, I would have been calling to find out what was determined so that I knew going into court what I was preparing for. Second, even IF that is what he had said (which it wasn't), he still lied because he never contacted them at all! I am just so tired of his excuses.

This is the same person who at a family meeting with Liam's birth mom, told her that my adopted daughter was going to be getting a wish from Make a Wish, completely none of her business, had nothing to do with Liam or his case, and a matter of confidentiality. Yet when I discussed this with both he and his supervisor, the regional supervisor, it was that he didn't say that, or excuses about how the mom should know that in case the wish was a trip and Liam would be a part of that (her wish started out differently). NO! She had no business knowing that and only needed to be asked/told that he would be going on vacation if that were the case.

So, the caseworker asked how they could rectify the situation, "Ummmm, you CAN'T." and went on to "comfort" me in that he "probably won't remember my name." Yes, I understand that, but that's NOT the issue. And as often as you can say "probably", it only takes one time. One time to be a news headline. From them, this information was not something that needed to be said. They messed up. They should have spoken up in court. They didn't follow through. They put my family in jeopardy. That is the issue.

So supposedly I am going to be invited to this big meeting. They said that everyone will be there and I can "air my issues." Whatever. I really hope that it does not turn out to be "them against me." They kept telling me that that is how things are always done. And my name has to be given for the record. OK, if you are so sure of all that, then why even tell me anything about checking into not using my name in the first place. The caseworker started to say, "The accused (dad) does have a right to be there and to hear the case against him, he has a right to stand against his acc..." And I said, "Whoa! I am NOT his accuser and I have NOTHING to do with him losing his parental rights. This is the state against him, not me, and that's the problem. He is losing rights because he can't parent. Period." I could NOT believe that almost came out of his mouth.

And, to top it off, why or how is it that kids know exactly when they can push every button there is!? Liam was an angel the whole time, just sat on my lap. Olivia had already ruined any chance of seeing HSM on the big screen when I picked the boys up and she was in trouble over a couple small things, and she hauled off and hit me in the head! And Braeden, whew, that boy was a NIGHTMARE the whole time they were in the house! Things he never would do otherwise. Pulling off couch cushions and sliding down them, running and acting ridiculous, I mean please.

What a night. I am wiped. I need to spend time reading my Bible. I will be doing that shortly. I need to be rejuvenated. I need chocolate. No, I need ice cream. Anyone know an ice cream delivery service!? The downfall of single parenthood! :( :)

Update: Olivia just came out of her bedroom to tell me her underwear were falling apart!? (we're still using the bedtime alarm to work on bed wetting) I said, "Hmmmm... were you messing with them and pulling them to rip?"
"Go back to bed." Argh!


Julie said...

CALGONE TAKE ME AWAY!!!!! All I can say is DITTO!!!!!! and I pray that you get social services out of your life soon!!! I know you want more so I guess just hang in there!!!!

Jess Tryon said...

Wow. That's awful.
I would start recording every meeting. Explain that it's because the last few issues have made it clear that what you're remembering is not the same as what they're remembering, so you want to be sure that you remember it right in the future. Or something. Basically a cover-your-butt thing done non-confrontationally... but without stating that you previously were wrong in any way.

Then you'll know exactly what they said when they said it, and can use it in court if need be... or wherever.

Shea said...

Man, I hate that this happened! I can't believe how unorganized they are. To put your family at risk is unacceptable.

Rebecca said...

Please Please Please tell me if you find the ice cream place that delivers!

Holly said...

you do need chocolate and prayer my dear. ice cream delivery service is a FANTASTIC idea.
big hugs,

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources

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Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
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Little did I know that love could be so powerful
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Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
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