Thursday, December 04, 2008

Saying No

My heart is broken tonight.

I received "the call" today. If you are a foster parent, you know the call of which I speak. A placement call. Two little girls in need of a home. About to be moved, right before the holidays, from the home they've been living in. A 6 year old and her 3 month old sister.

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to scream it into the phone and get out the right sized clothes and Christmas shop and and and... I couldn't. I knew in my heart of hearts it wasn't the right placement for us. A 6 year old girl is just too close in age to Olivia. I think she would have some huge issues with it. She rarely allows the boys in her room at all. She has such a hard time sharing her things and space, I don't think she could share her room with someone so close in age. Maybe the baby, but not the 6 year old.

I did ask Olivia, because I was curious what she would say. She grinned and shouted Yes! But, when I asked her to really listen to me and explained that her room would no longer be her room, that she would have to share it and it would be both of theirs, she got pretty serious all of a sudden. And said no. I'm glad she understood what it meant and what it would be like. I'm glad she was able to really think about how it would work. I'm glad she didn't just let the excitement of a "friend" cloud her.

She was sad when I told her about the baby. She loves babies and loves playing with them and loves helping with them. Then she said that she was glad the agency had at least thought of us to be her family and that we would have been a good family for her. That we would have loved her. That melted my heart. She has such good intentions and understanding of what it's like to be in this situation.

My heart is broken over these two little lives. I pray God is with them during this difficult time. I pray He places them in just the right home for them. I pray He helps my guilty heart.


Holly said...

You have such an amazing heart. I am so glad to have found your blog.
I am constantly in awe of all you do and endure and how deeply you love. You are an inspiration my friend.

Julie said...

ouch! I know that was hard- but good for olivia to articulate her feelings about it- love that girl!

Shea said...

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard this must have been. We turned down adopting two twin boys three years ago(4 years old). I have always wondered about them. However, at the time, A.J. was almost 4 as well. It would have been like having triplets!! I hope they find a really good home for them.

Jennifer said...

I know it's hard. It sounds like you made a very thorough and right decision for your family, esp for Olivia.

Sharla said...

We were foster parents for eight years and we got a call about two sisters that we said no to - it would have been around seven years ago. It was right after one of our long term placements had returned to her birth family and I was grieving and didn't feel ready and I said no. A day later, I called back and told them that if they still hadn't found a home for the girls, we would take them but they already had. So weird because I still think about them and wonder "what if?" even though there were a few other times we said no and never gave it a second thought. I know how you are feeling right now but that call will come for kids who are a good fit for all of you.

Post a Comment

Let's Connect!

Search This Blog


About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

Check out my Teachers Pay Teachers store!

Blog Archive

What you should know about HIV

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website:

Other Awesome Blogs

Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you