After a week and a half of rough. Rough times, big and little, just hard, struggling to get through it, thinking it can only get better, to have it feel worse each day, I wanted to take the kids to a Christmas party tonight. We were invited to be one of only certain foster families to attend a Christmas party given by the Walter Payton Foundation. I really debated all day whether or not to attend, even though we had already RSVP'd. We're expecting a HUGE ice storm tonight. Huge. At school we were given our paychecks even though tomorrow is our pay day. Just in case. And it was supposed to begin at 3pm, with the party from 4-7. But we went. As I said, it's been a long 10 days in many many ways.

And it was nice. Good food. Braeden a little off the wall, but what's new, and a load of toys on the stage making all the kids' mouths drool. :)

I even got some adorable pictures of them while we waited at the table.

And then, 10 min or so after we got in line to see Santa (one of the last tables to get in line) I realized I had left my now semi-new digital camera on the table. I glanced over and didn't see it. Well, maybe I put it in my coat pocket? I sent Olivia to check the table, but she couldn't find it either. So I checked. I checked the table, my coat, my purse, the kids' coats, and I checked it all again. It was gone. It is gone.

It sickens me. It angers me. It saddens me. I can replace the camera. I think insurance MAY even cover it. But I can't replace the photos I never uploaded to the computer. I only upload certain ones to put here on the blog or to send to someone. The rest now sit on someone else's camera. My camera in their hands. Luckily all video I take with it does get uploaded and deleted, so I have those. It just feels so violating. So wrong. They have our memories. Captured on film and now in the hands of people I don't even know.

And I leave for FL in two days with no camera. Who am I kidding, I'll probably buy one tomorrow unless we're iced in. I can't do without a camera. Sad, isn't it.

I bawled the whole way out to the car after the party. I did leave my name and number in case they find it - yeah right. Poor Liam just kept staring at me and saying mama. He hasn't seen me cry I don't think. And when Braeden said that he had a good time and Olivia snapped at him for saying that when I had lost my camera, I snapped at her. Way to go mom. Good role model to show them how to act when mad or sad. I told Braeden tonight maybe we should pray for the people who took mom's camera. Maybe they could realize it was wrong and give it back. We'll see.

I leave you with a funny story because I need that. :)

Yesterday morning we had some snow on the ground. I put on my "ugly" black snow boots to warm up the car and Liam just stared at me with big buggy eyes as I put them on. He said, "Santa's boots!" It was too cute!