Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Absence and Answers To More Questions

Sorry I've been gone a while. I have been so sick. :( I was off Wednesday and Thursday last week, finally having gotten to the doctor and received my prescription of antibiotics. Friday I was dressed and ready, though still not feeling well, when Liam woke with crusty eyes, green nose, and fever. So we were both home Friday and he got antibiotics for an ear infection. I was glad actually for a reason to stay home though. I was out of commission still on Saturday and Sunday. After a bad day Saturday, I did some planning Sat evening and brought up some toys we hadn't used in a while to occupy time on Sunday. I also asked Olivia if she wanted to do breakfast herself and she was on cloud nine. (She did a great job with toast, cheese, cereal, and apples!) :)

I received a couple more questions this week that I'd like to answer in case anyone else would like similar information...

My first question is about the spacing in age of your kids. I was wondering if you could give me some of your insights in regards to age differences amongst your kids.

Really that is going to depend on the kids you end up getting and what experiences/traumas they have been through and how it's affected them. Adopting at all, but especially adopting children who are waiting to be adopted is very different from having birth children and adding them one (or more at a time) in birth order, and being biologically related. Each of these kids come with such a unique series of genetics and histories, it's hard to know how or where or if they will "fit in" with children already in your home. It's a fine balance.

For me I know that taking another girl is going to be hard for Olivia. Especially if she is close to her age. The house I am currently in (and yes I dream of moving to something larger at some point, but for now this is our home) has three bedrooms. I have the smallest, Olivia the next largest, and the boys have a finished upper room that is quite large. Olivia is VERY protective of her room and her things. Even though she really doesn't play with them. She does not like kids in her room, but always wants to play in the boys room or play with the baby toys that are just out in the living room. She has a little bit of a hard time with Braeden still occasionally as well. I really think that it's because Braeden had been with me for a year when she came at age 3 1/2. He had TONS of stuff. :) He had had his first Christmas and first birthday with me and was given lots by friends and family.

When Olivia came, they had had nothing and she came to me with one doll. She got lots too, over time, but I think it has always stuck with her that I "like him better" for whatever reason. It's been hard to "prove" her otherwise. She's 2 1/2 years older so does have more responsibilities, homework, etc. She sees that as being unfair. Her attachment issues and prior history would make it difficult to take on another girl.

So , I wish I could answer your question better, but it just really depends on the kids themselves. I think as you get your feet wet and possibly meet some kids you'll see more of what will work. Just be sure to ask LOTS of questions! If adopting children who are waiting, SWers are not always up front about issues.

My second question is if you might share some of your experiences of adopting trans-racially. I am totally open to the idea, and feel hearing experiences from trans-racial families is a good way to prepare myself.

Really this has been a non-existent issue for us. I was a little hesitant on how others would react, but have had no issues. My friends and family have been wonderful. As my children get older, I hope to continue to prepare my kids to meet with compassion whatever may come their way. I know, I am not ignorant of the fact, that things very well could be said or things done, strictly based on the color of my children. I want them to be aware as well so that they go into this world with eyes open, but hearts open as well.

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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What you should know about HIV

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you