Sorry I've been gone a while. I have been so sick. :( I was off Wednesday and Thursday last week, finally having gotten to the doctor and received my prescription of antibiotics. Friday I was dressed and ready, though still not feeling well, when Liam woke with crusty eyes, green nose, and fever. So we were both home Friday and he got antibiotics for an ear infection. I was glad actually for a reason to stay home though. I was out of commission still on Saturday and Sunday. After a bad day Saturday, I did some planning Sat evening and brought up some toys we hadn't used in a while to occupy time on Sunday. I also asked Olivia if she wanted to do breakfast herself and she was on cloud nine. (She did a great job with toast, cheese, cereal, and apples!) :)

I received a couple more questions this week that I'd like to answer in case anyone else would like similar information...

My first question is about the spacing in age of your kids. I was wondering if you could give me some of your insights in regards to age differences amongst your kids.

Really that is going to depend on the kids you end up getting and what experiences/traumas they have been through and how it's affected them. Adopting at all, but especially adopting children who are waiting to be adopted is very different from having birth children and adding them one (or more at a time) in birth order, and being biologically related. Each of these kids come with such a unique series of genetics and histories, it's hard to know how or where or if they will "fit in" with children already in your home. It's a fine balance.

For me I know that taking another girl is going to be hard for Olivia. Especially if she is close to her age. The house I am currently in (and yes I dream of moving to something larger at some point, but for now this is our home) has three bedrooms. I have the smallest, Olivia the next largest, and the boys have a finished upper room that is quite large. Olivia is VERY protective of her room and her things. Even though she really doesn't play with them. She does not like kids in her room, but always wants to play in the boys room or play with the baby toys that are just out in the living room. She has a little bit of a hard time with Braeden still occasionally as well. I really think that it's because Braeden had been with me for a year when she came at age 3 1/2. He had TONS of stuff. :) He had had his first Christmas and first birthday with me and was given lots by friends and family.

When Olivia came, they had had nothing and she came to me with one doll. She got lots too, over time, but I think it has always stuck with her that I "like him better" for whatever reason. It's been hard to "prove" her otherwise. She's 2 1/2 years older so does have more responsibilities, homework, etc. She sees that as being unfair. Her attachment issues and prior history would make it difficult to take on another girl.

So , I wish I could answer your question better, but it just really depends on the kids themselves. I think as you get your feet wet and possibly meet some kids you'll see more of what will work. Just be sure to ask LOTS of questions! If adopting children who are waiting, SWers are not always up front about issues.

My second question is if you might share some of your experiences of adopting trans-racially. I am totally open to the idea, and feel hearing experiences from trans-racial families is a good way to prepare myself.

Really this has been a non-existent issue for us. I was a little hesitant on how others would react, but have had no issues. My friends and family have been wonderful. As my children get older, I hope to continue to prepare my kids to meet with compassion whatever may come their way. I know, I am not ignorant of the fact, that things very well could be said or things done, strictly based on the color of my children. I want them to be aware as well so that they go into this world with eyes open, but hearts open as well.