Friday, May 23, 2008

Adoption and School

I just don't understand people sometimes. I pray for understanding, because at times like these I just don't. Especially in the world today. In my class I know my kids' basic backgrounds. I know if there is a mom and dad, or a dad at home and mom lives elsewhere, or a mom and no dad in the picture at all, or living with relatives, whatever the situation. Especially at this time of the year. We've gone all year with conferences and report cards and field trip forms and IEPs, etc. Without major information I know who lives with whom.

And yet Braeden's teacher doesn't seem to care or pay attention or something. I work in this district where he attends preschool. People know who I am and some of our background on foster care/adoption. I just don't get it. Earlier in the year I even talked with her about a family tree project and she said herself that she needed to become a little more aware of family situations.

So yesterday, Braeden's last day of preschool, when he brought home a bright yellow envelope with a sticker on it that said "Don't open until June 15," you know what I did right? As soon as Braeden's eyes were averted I opened that thing up! My heart dropped. There was a laminated poem, printed out, with a small picture of Braeden underneath. I have to admit I don't even know what the poem said, I couldn't get past the first word... Daddy.

Come on! There is no Daddy. Why does Father's Day automatically mean that we send little gifts home to "Daddy" for these children to pass on? A teacher should know their students. Couldn't she have asked me who Braeden could have written his to? Maybe a grandpa? I could have said, Yes, that would be perfect. Or another male role model??? But they know there isn't a Daddy. And I'm pretty sure where Braeden discussions of late, of me finding a Daddy for him, getting married, wanting a dad, have been coming from.

And then when I tried to (ashamedly) toss away the envelope, who caught me but Braeden himself. He was quite distraught. He told me that that was for his Grandpa, his Big Buddy. I don't feel comfortable having him give his Grandpa something that says Daddy. Why couldn't it have just said Happy Father's Day??? Or just had a nice poem and picture with no reference at all???

My heart broke for him. For us. For all the kids who have to go through this because of unthinking teachers, unthinking people in this world. He's four. What will happen in the future? Olivia had some similar issues the last two years. I think about things like this as a teacher, I did before I got into foster care/adoption. Why don't others??? I just don't understand...

2 comments:

Emmy said...

awww! poor kid! i feel bad for him. are u nor married? or does he not reffer to ur husband as daddy? aww! =[

Runergirl said...

It's really fun when they want you to do a family tree too!! Some people, I swear, sensitivity please!!!

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!


Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
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• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition


Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you