So today Braeden brought home his first preschool newsletter. No big deal. Until I read that they are starting to make family trees. In preschool??? He barely understands adoption, how do you approach this? I don't want to blow it off as in "he won't understand, just make it as if he was born to you." I don't know what to do. I'm going to email his teacher and ask about it further... Yuck.

Put September 20th on your calendars - Olivia will become a part of our family, forever, on that very day!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

I spent the clothing voucher today. $130 at KMart. :) Girlie now has a pair of new black Mary Janes, black boots (never buy them, but hey I had to spend a lot here, why not?), 8 new pair of socks, two new pair of tights, three new pair of pants (stinkin cute I might add, and 2 of them have adjustable waist at 18 mo size!!!), a new white cotton sweater "shrug" to make some of her summer dresses move into fall, and I think 9 new long sleeve shirts! I got 3 ribbed and ruffled turtlenecks in red, white and lavender, 5 henley type shirts, very cute in some solids and patterns, and another white shirt that is a cute style. I figured they would hopefully go with things we already had, jumpers, etc.

I plan to spend the equipment voucher soon. Things I could use it on, to name a few: high chair, car seat, diapers!, crib, crib mattress, crib sheets, crib pad, stroller, etc. I really want a white crib since all the furniture in the girl's room is white. They only have 3 online at KMart, and only one of those is in the store. (I don't like it!) I think what I'm going to do is buy a crib myself (that way even if she leaves it'll stay and I can get what I like), and then use the voucher on a car seat, crib mattress, sheets, and diapers! Why not? They cost a blooming fortune! :)

While almost ready to check out at KMart, Little One's day care called. Sorry, he has a temp of 101.6 and you'll need to pick him up within the hour. I ask, can he come tomorrow??? Nope. (At other day cares I've been at it's 102 and over). I said that the Dr found an ear infection yesterday, he's cutting 4 teeth and he's ON ANTIBIOTICS! She said, Oh I believe you but it's policy, any temp that high means they're contagious and so many parents were saying that about the teeth we had to make it policy. I said, he was at the Dr yesterday and is ON ANTIBIOTICS!!! Nope, I have another day off and the year is barely underway. I started with 10 sick days and 2 personal. Already have used 2 sick days! 1 personal will be used for Olivia's adoption! Woo Hoo!!! :) Happy to use a day for that! It's going to be a long year. Of course if my father would hold back on the lecture about 4 kids and not many sick days.... Might help a bit. :)

A LONG first week and a half of school. They pretty much dumped the "extras" in my class. What I've ended up with is a class of 7 full time students. 6 do not take our state tests because they are so "low". I am floored to be honest, with their levels and don't even know where to start. They can't spell the word "to", some can't even spell their full names, don't understand that the numbers 7 and 7 are equal, it's hard to know where to go. I have one who needs to take the state tests, so he needs reg ed Math, etc. I also have two who come in all morning for Language Arts. I have an autistic girl, my only girl, who has a one on one aid and is really quite high compared to the rest of the class. It just is so different from what I've done that I'm having a hard time adjusting and finding resources.

I WON $1,000 today!!!! Unreal!! I had entered this contest when I bought my new appliances, and of course thought nothing of it. Last week I got a letter to fill out paperwork that I may have won, had to have it notarized. I looked up the co. on the web to check it out and sure enough they do tons of contests,etc for STaples, GE, etc. I faxed it and today got the check. No strings! I'm going to give some to church, it's such a blessing! and then get a couch for the living room!!! :)

Oh, and I felt like complete junk last week, finally made it to Immediate Care Sat, was diagnosed with Sinusitus and am on antibiotics!!!

If your'e counting, that would be four of the five of us on antibiotics!!! The kitchen looks like a pharmacy!

Is bubbling over with happiness more and more, but does still show aggression - especially at day care where they can't watch her as well as we can, and she has more "targets" there. :(

IS most likely remaining here, but they are still looking at discussing relative options with mom.

Received a clothing and equipment voucher today, although they were written expressly to KMart. We NEED a crib, mattress, and really a car seat that fits a little better since she's so small, but $130 of clothes at KMart???? I'm not sure how that will go...

Went for a check up last Thurs and although I told the cw taking her that her eyes had been crusty every morning for almost a week they diagnosed NOTHING. Over the weekend she ran 101-103 fevers with non-stop Motrin and Tylenol. Had to take the day off Monday, the first full week of school, and spent almost two hours in the Drs office for her appt. She was diagnosed with both sinus and ear infections and is on antibiotics.

Is cutting 3-4 teeth RIGHT NOW, and not feeling so great, ya think???

He is going to be getting a speech eval due to still not saying many words, but he is doing great for him. He now says Please, or his version, while signing the same if he wants something. He took my friend by the hand into the kitchen while she was sitting with the littles Sat and said "Eat." - he was a little hungry for lunch! :) He says mama almost too much! (never used to think that possible until I had it happen)

Had a well child check today and ended up diagnosed with an ear infection and is now on antibiotics.

Started Preschool on Monday. He likes it, or so I think. He's had two days with not great "bus" (van) behavior. Today he took his seatbelt OFF! We have had the talk! :) I told him I'm calling Grandpa tomorrow and he could tell him about his behavior if he has problems tomorrow. :) He's his "big buddy" so he wasn't looking forward to calling! :)

Is NOT sick - yet!

Let's see... Olivia's petition for adoption was ready last Friday. I signed ASAP on the way home from work and should hear about a court date this week!!! I'm guessing October, how ironic as Braeden's was completed last October! We thought hers would be done last Nov/Dec, but at least it will be happening soon. She's thrilled!

Lost a top front tooth and is soooo cute!

Started First Grade and LOVES her teacher and class. She's with a teacher who "loops." That means she teaches the same class for both First and Second grades, so Olivia will be with the same teacher and class both years. I've heard of pros and cons, so we'll see.

Woke up not feeling well yesterday, is now on antibiotics.

Where to even start???

Yay, Braeden went poop in the toilet for the first time tonight, he was so darn proud! :) He had just gone not five min before dinner, and then said he had to go potty again. I figured he wanted a couple jelly beans instead of the lovely chicken noodle soup dinner I had slaved over - yea right - and asked him to wait. He waited a little while, then said he had to go again. I was busy with the two little ones, so I told him to go ahead and go in and get the pants down and go himself. He did and a little while later I hear, "Mommy - I went poop!!!" He was thrilled. Olivia and I ran in there and did the dance of joy, there were hugs all around. It was too cute! He flushed it away and we talked about going to Target tomorrow to pick out the little giraffe he said he wanted when he finally did the deed. He was so proud! Let's hope it continues through to tomorrow. :)

Also tonight, I spoke with Girlie's cw. She's been gone for a while now, and has yet to visit her in my home since she was placed here! She needed info for the day care app that I supposedly hadn't put on, though I'm sure I did. Anyway, she said that the investigation was almost complete and that they were pretty positive she would not be returning. She said that "they" - the agency - would be meeting next week to discuss the options for Girlie. I called back a few min later and asked if I was going to be an option??? She said, would you like to be? Duh - of course! She said that they had asked mom about other relatives, but that it didn't sound likely. I guess mom has 4 other children, who are older, who have been removed and were not returned. I said that definately if there are no relatives, I am interested in keeping her. Day by day she is just blossoming with us. I would also really hate to see her have to transition yet again. She also went on to say, "I shouldn't tell you this, but I will..." Why do cw keep saying that. It's nice in a way to get this "inside" info, but at the same time, it is their job on the line too. I won't share those details, but I was given some details of Girlie's childhood that just were so sad. It always amazes me what some of these kids go through in such a short time. Wow. So, it looks like I should know more next week.

Here is my latest funny kid conversation:

I love listening to some of the conversations Braeden and Olivia have in the far back seat of the minivan while I drive. Olivia and I have talked a little about dying and what happens. We talked about your soul going to heaven and your body staying here. Here is the interpretation from my two religious scholars when they discussed this amongst themselves...

Olivia - "When you're dead, your skin doesn't go up to God."

Braeden - (deadly serious) "No, only your feet."

LOL!!!

Olivia had a great birthday today!

We started the day at IHOP - her favorite restaurant. Got a TON done at school. In the afternoon, one of my two new teaching assistants came in to help out. Then her daughter, a senior this year, came as well. Her daughter is great, wants to go into missions!, and LOVES to babysit! What a God thing, I can definately use more sitters!!! :) My desk and filing cabinet finally came and I started putting my things together there. Then, on the way to pick up her cake and get the others, got a call from our agency. Olivia's subsidy is finally DONE! It is being sent to our lawyer tomorrow and then he will be able to get us a court date!!! We are about 6 weeks or so away from her final adoption!!! Yay! What a gift! Tonight we did cake and ice cream, a little crazy with 7 kids, all current or former foster children from the same agency! She was blessed to receive some very nice gifts.

The only negative today was having to talk to Braeden's day care director. I felt bad approaching her, but she was so understanding, agreeing, and apologetic. Hopefully it won't happen again.

All in all a very great bday for my oldest! :)

Whew, I can see the silver lining...

I finally thought of calling our day care provider from last year, to see if she could watch the kids Sunday. I think of her more as a friend, and don't always think of asking her to sit. Plus, she has 7 of her own! :) She can watch them! I am so excited!

Then, right after that call, the water actually went down the drain by my washing machine which has backed up for about the past week! I poured Drain-o down it yesterday hoping I wouldn't have to call Roto Rooter. This morning it still wasn't working right, but now it does!!! Laundry awaits! :)

Still no word on Little One's tests. He has a well check on the 28th, so I'm guessing I'll hear then. Hopefully that means nothing major???

Today was another long day. Girlie woke with a cough and fever. With her asthma history I kept her with me today. We brought some toys to my school and she did great there. Got a lot done, though it still looks like SO much to do. Still no desk or filing cabinet moved into my room. No chairs. After picking Braeden up from day care, found out he watched Shrek today. It's rated PG and is NOT appropriate for little ones. He watched Sponge Bob the day before. When I talked to them in the spring, I was told one hour of tv per week, and that they watched Disney movies. I will talk to them tomorrow I guess, I hate having to, I hate "confrontation." Got a message on my cell while I was out of my room, at 2:23 asking where to pick up Girlie for her 3:00 visit. Yea, what visit? No one told me anything about a visit for today. I called him back at 2:50 saying as much and that she was with me today. He apologized for no one letting me know - whatever - and came to get her. After they returned I asked if she visited with the aunt again today like last week. He said, no, not anymore. Which means to me that she won't be going back there, but I'm sure it's not "official" yet. ??? Once we were all finally home and I was getting dinner ready, the sitter I had lined up for Sunday during the Wiggles, our only real sitter, called to say she was sorry she was letting me know so late, but she can't babysit Sunday. My friend J doesn't want to, because it would mean putting her 4 year old in the back of her mini van and she doesn't want to have to climb back to buckle and unbuckle. I called a family with 3 teens who sometimes will sit if I'm in a lurch, but they're going to Chicago that day. I called another who has sat for us, but her step-grandma is fighting cancer and probably not going to make it. I'm going to ask tomorrow at Girlie's day care because sometimes people there will sit off time. I've had kids there previously and know all the people well. Will this week ever end???

A busy day.

Started with going to my "new" school after dropping the 3 littler ones off at day care and finding that my new room still had all the old teacher's stuff in it. I couldn't do much of anything until that was all out. The principal himself moved it out for me and wouldn't allow me to help him. There are NO chairs in my room right now. I also have to scrounge fifth grade Sci and Social Studies books and most likely will have to order new ones which means I probably won't have any for a month. Plus, everything had been moved from my room at the other building to this room and building, except for my teacher desk, chair, and filing cabinet. Now, mind you, I started teaching in the building I am back in now, seven years ago. I got that desk, chair and filing cabinet that year in my first room. I taught there for four years, and was then moved to the other building. I had them move the desk, chair, and filing cabinet there for me. So, obviously, I marked them with my name to be moved back to my "new, old" building. They weren't in my room so my new principal called my old principal (who is a jerk - if you even knew what he was like...) Anyway, the principal there said no, that they were district property and that he was keeping them there or they would be short a desk, etc. Whatever!!! Yes, they are district property so why can't I take them with me within the district???!!! Plus, I know they have teacher desks somewhere, I had two of them moved out of the room I was in! Such a jerk. I went over and talked to the custodian who is great. He laughed and said of course they had other desks, that they would change out my desk and filing cabinet for ones in storage and move mine to the other room. The chair, the principal is not giving in on my rolling teacher chair and is keeping it there! What ??? That is so not right. Whatever. My new principal said he was ordering one already and would order me a new one too, I could even come pick it out. I felt horrible with him getting this first impression of me anyway, I just told him I'm sure whatever he picked out would be great and thanked him profusely for all his help. It's just the point of it more than anything. Why can't I just have my chair and they order a new one? So stupid. Bye chair, I'll miss you after 7 years!!! :(

Little One had his hospital testing today. He did great. The case aide ended up staying with him until 2, when he asked that I relieve him. Turns out that he was done when I got there. :) A bit cranky tonight however, poor bubba. He did great last night too, staying up late. No problems at all. After the others went to bed I gave him a bath, then a snack, then we just hung out in the basement. Getting up early went well too, no problems.

While I was walking out of the hospital with the case aide, I asked about Girlie's investigation and was given a few tidbits of information. He said that the investigator interviewed him yesterday, to "clear" him as he was the one who drove her to visits, etc. The aide said that basically he, the agency, everyone had been "cleared" and that it all pointed to the aunt. I feel bad, but in my heart I'm hoping he's right. I said it before, I just have a really bad feeling about where she was living.

Yesterday was Girlie's first day of day care. She did great. They said she took a nap just fine, etc. BUT I did have to sign off on an accident report because she scratched THREE DIFFERENT kids! (She also tried to bite one but the teacher caught it in time.) I left the report in Little One's bag this morning for the case aide to put in her file. I've already talked to him about the aggression I've seen in her and he is documenting it all.

Well, this morning at church was interesting to say the least, something in the water???

Olivia has been coming with me to "big church" lately which has been nice. We were sitting there during the message when my childcare pager went off. It was Girlie. She had been just crying and crying. So I took her back with me where she had some big snuffles to finish off the crying and lay her head on my shoulder. Close to the end then, my pager goes off again. This time it's Braeden. I know he's not an angel, he has a lot of activity to say the least, but still he's my Braeden and he's perfect, right. Yea, not so much but I'm his mom. :) Anyway, I guess, for whatever reason, he pulled a little girl's hair, which isn't like him really, and then when the teacher wanted or tried to talk to him about that, he started running around the room and throwing things! Oh my! But when I came and the teacher started handing him to me, Braeden flipped out screaming because he didn't want to leave and miss the rest of his class. I then had to hold a screaming Braeden, collect Little One who also started screaming because Braeden was and because he wanted to walk, while Olivia walked with Girlie, and drag them to the car. If they couldn't hear us in the service I will be surprised!!! How embarrassing! Then Braeden continued to scream in the car and asked me to "stop the car and go backwards" because he wanted his picture he had made at church. I calmly (although raging inside) told him it would be there for him next week. We made it home, barely, and once Braeden had calmed I asked him why he pulled the girl's hair, "I didn't want her to play with me." he said. Who knows what "started it?" But I reminded him that that is not ok behavior and that if he feels like that again he should walk away or ask her to leave him alone please. Interesting

(I'm so not a rock star!) :)

We had a wonderful day Friday at Six Flags! The kids did great, with only one melt down when I had to practically drag Braeden out of The Wiggles store. I explained that if they did a good job during the day they could choose something small at the end of the day, and that seemed to do the trick.

We kind of forced Braeden to go on a roller coaster! :) He was just tall enough for The Whizzer, the mildest coaster they have, no loops or anything. He is just not much of a rider. I kept telling him I'd be with him and he'd be fine. He didn't want to go, but darn it, mom wanted to ride SOMETHING! :) So we did, and he was fine! :)

We had rode everything they could go on by 3 pm, including Splash Water Falls, the large boat ride that goes down one big hill and DRENCHES you! That was a kid pick, I really didn't plan on getting that wet! But it was fun. We also had seen two shows by then, so we then went into the water park that's attached and that was a lot of fun too. We forced Braeden to ride the lazy river with us! :) I think it's just too slow for him and he wants to be out doing his own thing, not waiting for some tube. It was a lot of fun though. They have a lot of little waterfalls and things along the sides and I kept pretending I was going to dunk Olivia's tube through them, which I did once or twice, and let her to do our tube also.

We saw one last show after the water park, bought their "somethings," and headed home. A good day.

While at the park, our supervisor called about Little One's appt for Tues. I told him what had happened and that the case aide said he only had one hour avail to help, but he told me that no, I had been told someone would be there to help and they would rearrange his schedule to do just that. So, I'm very grateful for that response and help! Now, to sleep deprive the darling tomorrow night and not let him fall back to sleep in the car or at day care on Tues am! :)

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About the INFJ
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"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types."
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"INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect."
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Some famous "INFJ's":

Adam Sandler - actor, comedian
Aristophanes - Greek dramatist
Billy Crystal - actor, comedian
Carrie Fisher - actress, screenwriter, novelist
Chaucer - poet
Fanny Crosby - hymn writer
Martin Luther King, Jr. - minister, civil rights leader
Martin Van Buren - American President
Mel Gibson - actor, filmmaker
Michael Landon - actor (Little House on the Prairie)
Mother Teresa of Calcutta - missionary
Nathaniel Hawthorne - novelist
Nelson Mandela - President of South Africa
Nicole Kidman - actress
Oprah Winfrey - TV show host
Paul Stookey - singer-songwriter
Piers Anthony - sci-fi/fantasy writer
Shirley Temple Black - actress
Tom Selleck - actor

Well, talk about frustration with the foster care agency. I had spoken with Little One's cw about two weeks ago regarding his hospital lab work, EEG, and CT scan. I had scheduled it for the 14th, this coming Tues, and asked that he or the case aide help with half of the day as I had to sleep deprive him the night before and also needed to be in my classroom some time that day. No problem he said. Twice he called and told me the case aide could do it, he was just waiting to find out a time. He was going to be gone that day. When the aide came for LO's visit Wed, I asked about the time for Tues since the cw hadn't told me one yet. He had NO idea what I was talking about, the cw had NEVER mentioned it! Of course the cw is gone now until after Tues. He said he would check his schedule, then tonight I got a msg saying he could only help for about an hour. (LO is scheduled to be there for 6 hours.)

I am so upset. I called the supervisor and told him of the situation. I said that either someone from the office needed to be there half the day Tues, or it would need to be rescheduled, and since I will be going back to work the 20th, they would have to do it the whole day. Of course that would also mean that I would have to sleep deprive him the night before I work. Lovely all around. I highly highly doubt that anyone will help this Tues. We are down to only 2 cws and they are gone that day, and the aide obviously can't unless they change something of his that is scheduled. Yuck.

Have I mentioned in the past that our agency's supervisor is just not that great??? Don't get me wrong, he's a very nice guy, but he should not be in the position he is. Constantly he is wrong or doesn't know information that he should, doesn't know how to do certain things that he should, etc. Well, I told you how I had to call him to get the health information on Girlie that the cw was going to get me and didn't, only to then leave until the 16th? He sent me the entire health packet from our foster care healthworks program. We're talking a packet. All I needed was the form with immunizations and TB/Lead testing. Let me tell you, I know I have information that I shouldn't have. Yes, I read it thoroughly. And what I read was both enlightening and confusing. I won't share details, but it frustrates me more. On top of that, it talked about her having asthma issues and needing nebulizer treatments all last winter. That was nice to not share with me. Granted she's doing fine, but what if? How frustrating.

Tomorrow Little One is starting his year of day care at his new place.

Tomorrow my friend J is taking Girlie for the day to play with her 4 year old foster daughter.

Tomorrow I'm taking Braeden and Olivia to Six Flags Great America!!!

We're so excited! I'm a little bummed we can't do the log ride as that is the one "big" type of ride Braeden likes, but at that park he's still too little. Oh well. He'll have a blast at the new "Wiggles World"! The sitter I have sit from time to time is picking Little One up from day care to hang with him until we get back. If Girlie falls asleep ok at my friend's she'll spend the night there, otherwise we'll pick her up on the way back. I got our tickets and $50 in food vouchers free from points off my credit card, so all we'll pay for is gas and parking. Not too bad for a day of fun! :)

I'm am so not into having all the newest technological gadgets. But that said, I do love my new cell phone!!! :) I have been meaning to switch services, especially since I had over $100 in roaming charges from the ONE WEEK we were in Tennessee!!! Anyway, then at the zoo Monday my cell ended up in the basket of the stroller, as did a cup of water from a little one. Needless to say, the cell was soaked and didn't work right since. Instead of getting a new phone, I went Tuesday after registering the olders for school and got a free one with my new service. I love it! I have the one with 5 "faves" whom I can call anytime for free. There are only a few I dial often anyway, my friend J, my parents, and the foster agency. I can (and many probably do, but this is new for me and I think it's fun!) download songs to play for ringers. I downloaded the theme song from Friends for my regular ringtone, then Time after Time for my friend J, Sweet Home Alabama for my parents, and the kicker - Bad Moon Rising for my agency!!! I was cracking myself up! :) That is four of my faves taken, J has home and cell and uses 2, so I still have one fave "open." It's just been fun to play with, and I love that is was a free phone and that I will save money with this service. Plus, I can use it when we visit FL which I couldn't with my other. Yay!

There are few drawbacks to living in the district in which I teach. Many more positives. I love being 2 min from school and able to come home for lunch. I love having Olivia accompany me to school in the mornings and eating breakfast while I get ready for the day. I love knowing who Olivia's teacher is. I love the area I bought in.

BUT, I DO NOT like living on a street with kids from the Jr High I taught at the past 3 years who think it's funny/ok to target my home. Last summer, our first here, we were ding dong ditched at 3 am, when my parents were in town, and my dad happened to be sleeping in the living room. This spring, and into summer, we were ding dong ditched again, then TPed/forked, and now yesterday the house was egged! It seems to be getting progressively worse and I DO NOT like it. At first it wasn't a big deal, I was a kid once too. BUT, they do know I have little ones. The TPing was actually pretty funny because they used only one roll and did a pretty pathetic job I must say. :) The egging is taking it too far for me. They still did a pretty poor job, you can tell they're kids, and I'm sure they were scared of being caught. There were 3 or so broken on the roof and 3 or so right in the middle of our front picture window. Good thing it wasn't rocks I guess. I am still surprised I didn't hear a thing though. I'm thinking about having a security type light installed, soon. One that will turn on if someone enters the yard. That will probably help. The worst thing is that of the 3-4 houses with Jr. High kids, I only taught one home of kids and I don't think they are doing it. I could be wrong though. Hopefully with the move to the lower grades it will subside soon. We'll see...

Well, all that aside, we had a great day yesterday! I took the four up North to Chicago about an hour and 15 min to Lincoln Park Zoo. I met up with a friend of mine from high school that I keep in contact with, though not as much as I'd like and hopefully will get better at!, and her 2 year old son.

The kids did so great! The littles were in the double stroller and Braeden and Olivia did a great job walking and helping with doors and such. We love watching the polar bear swim! :)


A glimpse of our Girlie! :)

I have no news. Still nothing in the investigation of Girlie's last placement. I had called her cw, who is new, yesterday and left a msg that I needed her medical info asap for day care as she is starting Friday. Last Friday she had said she would get this for me. Nice to find out from her voice mail that she is gone today through the 16th and I haven't even heard from her. So I had to call the supervisor to get it from him. Not my job people!

While on the phone with him, he said they were arranging a visit with mom (duh) and with her last foster placement!!! ???? What! Are you kidding! This person is not her parent and they are under investigation for possibly being the one to have put all the marks on my little girl. Why on earth would you give them a visit??? I asked. He really seems to believe it was done at day care. He said that the investigation was not finished, that they were also investigating the day care where it most likely happened, and that she needed to keep this bond because if the claim is undocumented she will go back there. (This said as if I was trying to keep her from her family or something.) I was flabbergasted.

I said that the cw had told me that she and the investigator talked and that they believed it was too much to have happened at day care, and that the investigator thinks it's been happening for a while. He said that that was info he didn't have. And the bond? Is it just going to go away in a week or two until the investigation is over??? Come on!

I could tell him a lot about the environment she comes from, just by having lived with her for the past 6 days. I could tell him that she has seen/experienced a lot of aggression. She hears quite a bit of yelling. She only knows no and not yes, as everything I ask she answers in no, but many times she means yes. (Hard to explain.) I could tell him about the diet she's been consuming. She acts like I'm killing her, literally, when I ask her to try a bite of cheese, or ham, or egg. She thought the bottled water I bought at the zoo was pop and asked repeatedly for it instead of the cup of water she had. She thought that the bag from the drive through, which had a ham n cheese sandwich on wheat and a fruit cup, held french fries and was devastated when I told her there weren't any. I could tell him how the first day or two she didn't even understand joking, smiling, but is now starting to hug and say I Love You because she sees us do it with each other and her. She just now understands what I mean when I ask for a kiss and hug. I had to show her, teach her how to hug. But he doesn't want to hear about any of that. I'm just the foster parent.

I truly, in my heart of hearts, believe that this child should not return to her aunt, and probably to her bio mom though I still don't know much about her. I pine for her to have a childhood with laughter and joy. I want to buy her a Halloween costume and let her trick or treat with the kids. I want to buy her Christmas presents and have my mom make one more stocking to hang up. I want to give her a semblance of what she has most likely missed. I may only have a week or so left. :(

Believe me, I've sent others home. I've missed them sure and been sad to see them go. But not because I believed they shouldn't go home. I don't like the feeling with this one. I don't like sending her back to possible abuse. Please pray for God to guide the investigation so that if it is safe, she can go back, but that if it isn't, it is found out and found out clearly so that she will not go back. Thanks.

Olivia turns 6 on August 16. We had planned originally on having a big party at the gymnastics center. I saw not too long ago that The Wiggles were going to be back in Chicago. Her party was a hard thing because I have no way to get ahold of her friends from school, but it still would have been great. I couldn't afford the party and The Wiggles, so I talked to Olivia alone and gave her the choice. We could go to the concert and do cake and ice cream with Braeden's brother, sister, and mom who is my friend, plus her godmother and her foster daughter, or do the whole party with them and a few others. Completely her choice and I didn't have a preference. She was so funny. She really thought about it over a couple days and decided she would like to do the concert. So I ordered tickets and we go the 19th. We're doing the "party" either the 16 or 18. Braeden doesn't know about the Wiggles yet as Olivia decided to keep it a surprise, he will die! He will be so excited! We ordered Olivia's cake yesterday and found a really cute one of Ariel. She is extremely psyched!!! So am I!!!

Yes, we have a new member of our family! A lovely little girl joined our family last night. The agency called me about 3:30 pm and asked if I could "do them a favor" and take her on an emergency basis. The supervisor said it would be short term. He said that she had come to the office for a visit, bio mom noticed some bruises, and they think it happened at day care but they were removing anyway to be on the safe side. She had been placed with her aunt, I think on June 13. I asked if they would consider calling my friend. She has one foster daughter whom she's had for over two years, and hasn't had another placement since. She has room for two more girls and would definately like to take one or two more. They agreed and I hung up and started calling her myself as well. I called her cell but could tell it was dead. I called and called her house. I had a feeling she was at another girl's from our school, but couldn't find the number in the phone book. I called another person from work to see if she had her phone tree for the number, but she wasn't home. I called her parents, they weren't home. Long story, still long but now shorter, neither of us got a hold of her and I said I would take her.

I talked with the kids about how she would be joining us for a little while. We talked about not overwhelming her and just letting her get used to things for a little while. Olivia was thrilled to be getting a "sister." She came to us at 6:15pm. The investigator hadn't even seen her yet, and they didn't take her to a doctor, or hospital. I was surprised. The investigator came to our home about 7:15. I had put the others to bed, but Braeden was feeling a little pressure I think as he got out of his room a few times, which he never does. The investigator had to take pics and I had to basically strip search her to find bruises and marks. I have never seen this side of foster care yet. Most of my children have come through neglect, other foster placements, or as in Braeden, right from the hospital at birth. I wanted to cry. The bruises, scratches, marks, they were not done in one morning at day care. We'll see what the investigation turns up, but I don't think this child will be going anywhere anytime soon.

That night, I saw some of what she must have gone through. She is quite aggressive with the other kids, and me. Hits, many times in the face, has no sense of sharing, doesn't smile hardly at all, says things like shut up, and screamed bloody murder when I, whom she had know less than an hour, just walked out of the room for a second. After the investigator was there, I put Braeden to bed and tried to get her to bed. We started with a bath and I could tell going in and seeing the tub she was not thrilled. I know tubs can be not so good to a lot of foster children, so I ran only 3 inches of water. She was ok except for getting water on her face and hair, she screamed! For bed, I had been told originally that she was 2 and had planned on putting her in the bottom bunk in Olivia's bed. Since she's not even 2, and is the same size as Little One, wearing size 12-18 mo clothes, I set up the pack n play in my room. I gave her a fuzzy new pink blanket and scrounged a small animal from Olivia for her to cuddle with. I told her the blanket was now hers, and she rubbed it on her face, it is so soft. She came with 3 yucky outfits, one pair of yucky pjs, one pair of shoes, and a huge stuffed Mickey they probably gave her at the office. I held her, and laid her down. She screamed and cried. I lay on the edge of the pack n play until she fell asleep. And then I had to wake her this morning at 8:20am! :)

She did great today. The agency finally took her to the Dr. who said they should have taken her last night. DUH! Oh well. We'll see. They think the investigation will end middle of next week. I'm not buying anything major until then, but did get a few things today. I dug out the clothes I had in that size last night, and my friend brought over TONS today. I bought a couple plain white Ts, denim shorts, denim jumper, and socks. I also got her a very cute stuffed bunny to have and hold and cuddle. They had HUGE markdowns and I got each of the kids something. Olivia got this really cool Polly Pocket that you launch and it kind of flys, used to be $15, and was now $3.74. And Little One got a cute stuffed dino for 74 CENTS! :) Braeden of course picked a horse, but it was on sale too! :) My friend J went with as always.

Tonight we went with my friend and another friend to our local water park. If you go at 4, it's only $3 to get in and kids 2 and under are free. They have a tube slide, 2 adult water slides, 2 children's slides, a lazy river, and a great pool, with two zero depth areas for kids. There is also a huge sand area, but we never go that route. :) The kids did great, except when I had to fill out a rescue form for Braeden who went too far and they thought he was drowning. That kid has no fear! So embarrassing!