Ha Ha! Just fooling!
In all honesty... what is HARD about raising an HIV+ child?
Only the fear I have as their parent of WHEN they will experience hurt and rejection, WHO it will come from, and WHAT form it will take. Because I don't kid myself into thinking it WON'T ever happen. I know the world too well. I just worry for her. And I try to prepare her, by role playing what she would say if.... If a friend asks about her medicine... If an adult asks why she has to go to the hospital every so often... If...
Some of those she or I CAN "push off" in a way by saying she has a seizure disorder. And I've given her "permission" to "use" that if she's uncomfortable or unsure or if she can tell the person asking isn't asking out of love, but out of gossip.
Olivia's funny in that when she was younger she WANTED to tell... everyone... all of her friends, etc about her HIV. I think for a while it was this "thing" she "had". Surrounding her adoption we talked about it a lot. I have ALWAYS told her I would support her in ANY decision she made with regards to telling people. No. Matter. What. BUT, I would also cautiously remind her of things we've discussed regarding people's fear and the fact that once it's told, you can't untell. She never did actually tell people, and now at 9 she's at a point where she really doesn't want or feel the need to tell others. I think she realizes the possible ramifications and where before she kind of liked the idea of "standing out" and "having this thing", now she wants to fit in and be like everyone else.
She likes having control over her disclosure. There is another whole page on that topic itself as it's a big one in the HIV world. She knows it's nothing to be ashamed of, and isn't, but is also starting to understand why she might choose to keep that information private. And while as a parent, inside, in a way I wish no one who would ever be negative about it would find out, I know that's not a reality. And my fear is for her heart.
Other than that, the ups and downs of raising a child, period: an adopted child, a dancer, a child with attachment issues, or past trauma, a sports genius to be, or... it's life itself that can be rough and/or wonderful. But not the HIV aspect. Really.
And if you don't believe ME, then read up on it HERE, because this post sums it up better than I ever could!
2 months ago
