Monday, January 16, 2012

Adoption Update

Some have asked where we're at in the adoption process. Well... let me see if I can fill you in...

This fall when we had some things going on personally I was waiting to be matched with a little one from Ho.ng Ko.ng. I had been "ready" to be matched since February but there just hadn't been any new little ones available. God knew what He was doing. (Doesn't He always!?) :) Fall was a very rough time for us, which ended with us grieving the loss of my father.

During that time I contacted my home study and adoption agencies and let them know that I needed to put things "on hold." I could barely function myself while still parenting and trying to keep my job, that to have even thought of adding in a new little was just something I couldn't have wrapped my mind around, let alone something that would have been good for them or us. Ironically not days into our time of turmoil, I had been emailed by my worker about a little one newly available from Ho.ng Ko.ng. Not one listing since February, and here was one just listed. It just was not meant to be.

With healing and grieving dissipating and everything leveling out once again, I've resumed discussion with my two agencies regarding taking up the process to adopt again. BUT... there have been new developments within Ho.ng Ko.ng, and they are making it almost impossible to adopt as a single parent unless the child is much older and has been waiting a while. - Let me say here that I obviously have a love for older children adoption, there is nothing wrong with that and I am not opposed to that - BUT my agency I am working with does not allow out of birth order adoptions, which means any I adopt must be under Liam's age, and there just aren't many in that realm unless they have significant physical disabilities which I wouldn't be able to tackle working full time. - There is still not a certified "no" to singles, but it looks like I could potentially be trying for a match, having a picture of a little one, falling in love with a little one, and the matching committee could very well, and most likely would, come back with a "no." I can't afford that; not in money, but especially not in emotional investment. And that's most likely what would have happened had we gone forward with that little one this fall.

So... with a heavy heart I turn away from Ho.ng Ko.ng. Those of you who have been with me since I began this journey know that this is now the second country I have worked to adopt from and been turned away from... all due to being single. It's frustrating. The first was a very short lived process, with little investment, but Ho.ng Ko.ng... We've checked out library books and studied the culture... I've read my own books and followed numerous blogs, reading back over travel to this glorious place... I've spent TIME and MONEY... a year and a half and thousands of dollars to be exact... and it's frustrating...

So... where we're at... well... my adoption agency has only two other options being a single parent... One is Russia, and with that comes a total of three trips lasting between 18 and 25 days total... something I just can't do as a single mom who works full time... and one other country... BUT, their site states that adopting from this other country means you can have no more than two adopted children ( no biological children ), and I obviously have three. My worker is currently checking into the possibility that they could get a waiver for this requirement. IF SO, then I am going to go forward with this country and hopefully most of my money put toward Ho.ng Ko.ng can be transferred to the new program. IF NOT, then I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere with the money I've invested and I will be updating my home study to be prepared in the case of a possible domestic adoption situation at some point. (NOTHING is in the works, just wanting to be ready in case).

Please join us in prayer. The kids ask almost daily when we are getting a new sister. They pray for their sister. They have been so excited for so very long, as we all have.

8 comments:

Barb said...

I am so sorry for all the twists and turns your adoption is taking. I am sure in the end it will all be clear to you and you will find your little one. It won't be easy but as I am sure you know adoption never is but in the end it is sooo worth it! Hang in there and thanks for the update!

annieglan said...

Leaving us in suspense... how exciting

Brittany said...

I'll be praying.
http://www.brittanysworld-adopt.blogspot.com/

Brittany said...

I'll be praying.
http://www.brittanysworld-adopt.blogspot.com/

Brittany said...

I'll be praying.
http://www.brittanysworld-adopt.blogspot.com/

Jeanie said...

Just curious (hopefully, not too nosy) as to why you don't adopt from the U.S. Is it harder to do than other countries? I'm not being critical, just wondering.

Julie said...

Ugh- what a let down... In sorry you have gone through all this- but I trust God has His perfect plan for you and potentially another little one. Keep your eyes up and do the next right thing. God will continue to walk with you down this unknown path.....

maureen said...

Oh I am so sorry for your frustration. I was in the middle of a China adoption in 2007 when my first 2 foster daughters became available for adoption, the China adoption agency assured me that since my girls had already been with me for 2 years , that China would not hold that against me and I could proceed with the Intl adoption.

The next year I was about 6 months away from my referral, after waiting almost 3 whole years, and I got my daughter Ava Marie placed with me as a foster child, we knew that her case would go straight to adoption, so I informed the China adoption agency. I knew it would mean that my China adoption would be over, they don't let you adopt if you have more than 2 children AND you are single.

In the end I have 4 adopted daughters through fostering. I am sure this is what God meant for me all along. I did lose about $10,000 to the China adoption, but I have 4 beautiful daughters in the long run, so I believe it was all for the best! And I wrote off that money as a donation to the agency!

Praying for your 4th!
Maureen

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I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!


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