I haven't blogged about Braeden and our struggles with his ADHD and meds lately. THIS is where we started back at the end of August. We were on the road of helping him focus academically. And since then, well it's been a rough road. It's been a struggle, really.

Very quickly after that post, Braeden began raging. Often. Every couple of days. Lasting 1-3 HOURS. Yelling MEAN things. Things that have not come out of his mouth previously. Ever. Not that he hasn't had his angry days. Or gotten very mad at friends and family. But this was different. It was that, times a MILLION. I was using restraint techniques I had learned through my job as a special education teacher. On. My. Son. When I would talk to him later about why he was so mad, he would honestly say he didn't know. And I believed him. Because he usually had a "reason" he could have blamed it on... Mom told him no for something. A show he wanted to watch wasn't on. A friend said something that wasn't nice. There was usually SOMETHING, but he said he didn't know.

After a couple weeks of this, I pulled him off the meds myself. His doctor works at a center primarily accessed by lower income/Medicaid patients. NOTHING wrong with the clientele, but I've learned that "this type" of center means you wait forever. They often overbook I believe knowing that many won't show. Whatever the reason, you wait a LONG time, and you can never get a hold of anyone on the phone without waiting for an eternity. So, I waited a couple weeks to tell the doctor at our next appt.

He wasn't happy I don't think. Oh well. :)

He then placed Braeden on yet another med for the ADHD and added in a med primarily prescribed for either seizures or Bipolar, to help combat aggression. Inside I wanted to yell... WE DIDN'T HAVE THESE RAGES BEFORE MEDS! But I didn't. I decided to let him try and see what happened. This was two weeks before Christmas break.

I didn't notice a difference AT ALL with his ADHD on the new meds. Not at home anyway. But his teacher said he was calmer, and that was my reason for medicating, so I went with it. The day we came back to school after break Braeden had his next appt. I reported that to me, at home, I didn't see a difference in his ADHD. He wasn't raging, though we did have a couple of good tantrums, and anger. It seemed at times he was angry to be angry, there wasn't even a "trigger." But I also reported what the teacher had told me, that he seemed calmer in the classroom. The doctor added a dose of his ADHD med in the middle of the day.

Things began to go downhill at school. He was active, very active (just what I had been saying at home) and he even had a day where he refused to do his work. So when we returned a month later, I was able to report what was happening.

Well... the doctor put Braeden BACK on his original ADHD med, BUT kept the med for aggression. I made a face. He smirked and asked why. I said I was VERY nervous, but would try it. And we made an appt to meet in two weeks to go over things.

Well, our next appt is here tomorrow. And the last two weeks have been GREAT! Is he the "perfect, Stepford Child" boy? No. But he IS calmer. He IS controlling himself and his anger. He is PROGRESSING!

At the Mons*ter Jam, the truck that Braeden was rooting for got out RIGHT AWAY. As silly as this sounds, that would normally send him over the edge and I'd spend the next hour or more restraining and controlling and trying to get Braeden regulated again. BUT, though he got mad. Though he acted like he was going to leave. (Not kidding.) It lasted all of three minutes. If that. He didn't rage. He got himself together. And he continued the night smiling and having fun. And when that same truck lost in the Freestyle Competition later, he was upset, but not MAD. He got over it. Like a (dare I say it) "normal" kid.

So we're on the road... the road of regulating. The road of recooperating what we've gone through the past 6 months. And yesterday morning when I sat Braeden on the kitchen counter and told him that I wanted to tell him that "when at the Mon*ster Jam, I was glad when..." And he finished my sentence saying, "I got myself together." I know HE gets it. I know HE'S proud of controlling his anger.

And I'm so proud of HIM.