Saturday, December 08, 2007

Supervisor's Meeting

Well, I had the meeting yesterday with the agency supervisor who was the one to talk about O's wish, and with his supervisor, a woman I've not yet met. I came prepared with multiple emails, complaints, etc just because I did not know whether we were strictly there to meet over the incident at the family meeting, or if they would bring up anything else themselves and I wanted to be ready. They didn't, so I didn't use any of the info I had and that was fine with me.

The regional supervisor started by asking who would like to begin. I was not going to start this conversation as he had still not contacted me at all to apologize or anything. He began by basically trying to get out of it and saying that he didn't say anything about the wish except to let mom know he would be going out of town and wasn't sure why the cw did say more. I said, Oh no, wait a minute. And I told them exactly what was said, when and how. The reg. Sup. tried to get them off the hook I guess by saying that when there are out of state trips they always speak with the bio parents to let them know, etc. I said, There is NO TRIP. The only thing that was asked was to be able to give Make a Wish his birth certificate IN CASE she wished for a trip. She DIDN'T and I said that right at the beginning of that conversation. I made it very clear that they DID NOT need to and SHOULD NOT have even mentioned the words Make a Wish.

I then reiterated that the cw said Lisa's ADOPTED DAUGHTER, etc and that that shouldn't have even been said. It just floored me that even at this point they were trying to get around what was said and what actually happened. I told them my biggest concern right now is that we are going forward with allowing publicity and that she may learn our last name through this and who knows what the future will hold for Little One. She said she understood and that my having an unlisted no. will help. Oh thanks.

She also said, which I have not written about, that IL is changing how they want foster and bio parents relationships to be. I just read about these so called changes in the last foster newsletter I received. They spoke of the ideal of bio parents going to foster parents homes and basically co-parenting with regards to homework and bath time and bed time, holidays etc. While I think that would be wonderful with the right, willing, cooperative, safe, bio parents. I have yet to have any of that kind of parent with my foster children. I have met Girlie's mom for her birthday at McDonalds and that was fine. I would do other things with her similarly. I have agreed to call and have Little One's bio mom come to his doctor appts, but not in my home. Not when I barely if at all really know these people. Not when I am a single woman with 4 small children. Not when I know a lot of the things these parents have done and are into. I wish I could put all my trust that God would guide through these situations and I would help bio moms by mentoring or whatever, but with the ones I've had thus far I don't see it happening.

To update on Little One, he has lived here with us since Nov 2 2006. He was in care about 4 months prior to that in another foster home, that was not a good situation and why he ended up with me. Here it's usually around 18 months that a decision of permanency is supposed to be made. The day I met for the family meeting, they had his ACR and I received the service plan, my part, that evening. It stated that mom's progress was unsatisfactory. I do not have copies of his last two ACRs but have asked the cw for them. A friend who was a cw has told me that if she has more than 2 unsatisfactories, then they should be looking at taking the case to legal screening ( the first step in the termination process ). The service plan also stated, under the question of whether or not the child was residing with family, that the maternal grandmother lives in Alabama and is a potential adoptive placement if/when the mother fails to gain him back. My heart was racing. This has been my fear since I first heard of grandma and her guardianship of Little One's 4 year old brother this past summer.

During the summer they had talked of possibly granting her guardianship of Little One as well, but then it didn't happen for some reason. The ONLY reason I even knew of this was from the CASA worker, not the cw. So, when the cw came in after I read the service plan and bio mom was not there yet, I asked about the "future" with grandma. He said that at one point there was talk of guardianship but that that was no longer an option. He said it was either return home or adoption. Then he asked me how long I've had him. Technically here if you have fostered a child over a year, then you have first right at adoption over any family if they are not returned home. I'm hoping they stick with that, because I'm pretty sure that at this point he is not returning. Why on earth they would want her to start going to doctor visits now is beyond me. We'll see... My prayers are just for his best. If he can return home to a safe, loving environment, great, if not, I do not think it in his best interest to live with a grandma, family or not, that he has met twice in his life for an hour each. I think at that point he needs to remain a part of our family.


Julie said...

I sure hope you get to the bottom of Olivia's legs stuff- that is kinda scary-but you are right it coudl just be exhaustion. I am praying for clarity. As for LO- I am just appauled about the meeting- that is insane- I do hope they figure out his permanency soon. It is not fair to him to leave him blowing in the wind like this.

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

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Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you