Well, I had the meeting yesterday with the agency supervisor who was the one to talk about O's wish, and with his supervisor, a woman I've not yet met. I came prepared with multiple emails, complaints, etc just because I did not know whether we were strictly there to meet over the incident at the family meeting, or if they would bring up anything else themselves and I wanted to be ready. They didn't, so I didn't use any of the info I had and that was fine with me.

The regional supervisor started by asking who would like to begin. I was not going to start this conversation as he had still not contacted me at all to apologize or anything. He began by basically trying to get out of it and saying that he didn't say anything about the wish except to let mom know he would be going out of town and wasn't sure why the cw did say more. I said, Oh no, wait a minute. And I told them exactly what was said, when and how. The reg. Sup. tried to get them off the hook I guess by saying that when there are out of state trips they always speak with the bio parents to let them know, etc. I said, There is NO TRIP. The only thing that was asked was to be able to give Make a Wish his birth certificate IN CASE she wished for a trip. She DIDN'T and I said that right at the beginning of that conversation. I made it very clear that they DID NOT need to and SHOULD NOT have even mentioned the words Make a Wish.

I then reiterated that the cw said Lisa's ADOPTED DAUGHTER, etc and that that shouldn't have even been said. It just floored me that even at this point they were trying to get around what was said and what actually happened. I told them my biggest concern right now is that we are going forward with allowing publicity and that she may learn our last name through this and who knows what the future will hold for Little One. She said she understood and that my having an unlisted no. will help. Oh thanks.

She also said, which I have not written about, that IL is changing how they want foster and bio parents relationships to be. I just read about these so called changes in the last foster newsletter I received. They spoke of the ideal of bio parents going to foster parents homes and basically co-parenting with regards to homework and bath time and bed time, holidays etc. While I think that would be wonderful with the right, willing, cooperative, safe, bio parents. I have yet to have any of that kind of parent with my foster children. I have met Girlie's mom for her birthday at McDonalds and that was fine. I would do other things with her similarly. I have agreed to call and have Little One's bio mom come to his doctor appts, but not in my home. Not when I barely if at all really know these people. Not when I am a single woman with 4 small children. Not when I know a lot of the things these parents have done and are into. I wish I could put all my trust that God would guide through these situations and I would help bio moms by mentoring or whatever, but with the ones I've had thus far I don't see it happening.

To update on Little One, he has lived here with us since Nov 2 2006. He was in care about 4 months prior to that in another foster home, that was not a good situation and why he ended up with me. Here it's usually around 18 months that a decision of permanency is supposed to be made. The day I met for the family meeting, they had his ACR and I received the service plan, my part, that evening. It stated that mom's progress was unsatisfactory. I do not have copies of his last two ACRs but have asked the cw for them. A friend who was a cw has told me that if she has more than 2 unsatisfactories, then they should be looking at taking the case to legal screening ( the first step in the termination process ). The service plan also stated, under the question of whether or not the child was residing with family, that the maternal grandmother lives in Alabama and is a potential adoptive placement if/when the mother fails to gain him back. My heart was racing. This has been my fear since I first heard of grandma and her guardianship of Little One's 4 year old brother this past summer.

During the summer they had talked of possibly granting her guardianship of Little One as well, but then it didn't happen for some reason. The ONLY reason I even knew of this was from the CASA worker, not the cw. So, when the cw came in after I read the service plan and bio mom was not there yet, I asked about the "future" with grandma. He said that at one point there was talk of guardianship but that that was no longer an option. He said it was either return home or adoption. Then he asked me how long I've had him. Technically here if you have fostered a child over a year, then you have first right at adoption over any family if they are not returned home. I'm hoping they stick with that, because I'm pretty sure that at this point he is not returning. Why on earth they would want her to start going to doctor visits now is beyond me. We'll see... My prayers are just for his best. If he can return home to a safe, loving environment, great, if not, I do not think it in his best interest to live with a grandma, family or not, that he has met twice in his life for an hour each. I think at that point he needs to remain a part of our family.