Little One had a case review yesterday. They have these every six months. I was unable to go to his last one as it was when we were in FL. I really wanted to be at this one to hear what's going on in his case and if they discussed the possibility of Grandma as a placement, but it was scheduled for 11am. To get a half day off from work, it is up to or from 12 noon. I didn't really have a way to take a half day with the time of the meeting but wanted to be there. They have been saying they were going to schedule a family meeting, (where the bio, foster, cw get together) soon but hadn't. I have NEVER had a family meeting for ANY foster child in fact, but these are supposed to be done every three months. So we set up a family meeting for yesterday afternoon and I took a half day. I also had a TB test for Girlie scheduled after that.

Anyway, it was very interesting, meeting the bio mom of the child I've been caring for for the past 13 months. After coming in the cw quickly intro'd us as he was still getting things together. She said "I just can't wait to get him back." and then we sat in the most uncomfortable silence ever! Seemed like forever even though it was only about 2 minutes. We had our meeting. She said I needed to put more lotion on him and wanted to know why he was being targeted with biting - he's not, he bites too and all in his room are "doing it" on occasion. I explained it was a developmental stage and that frustration and lack of communication skills make for some biting. She also wants to be included on all doctor visits. I was just listening and trying to be positive. I was glad to meet the person who gave birth to this special child. I love him so much, but how can you tell that to someone who sees you as the bad guy. She has said so much about me at past visits, etc and I know it's hard to know someone else is raising your child I can't imagine. But I wish she would have asked what he's like at "home." What makes him laugh, what makes him mad, what does he play with, who does he play with, where does he go, but she didn't. It makes me sad. I could tell actually that she wanted to say a lot more about what I was "doing wrong" but didn't. I guess I should be glad she didn't. It ended amicably and I told her I was glad to have finally met her. She seemed to feel the same.

BUT - during the visits I was outraged and couldn't believe it when they supervisor, who was present over the phone, asked the cw to talk about the "make a wish thing." WHAT???!!! I tried to staunch the discussion by saying "she" wasn't wishing for a trip and push it aside, but he continued. The cw said to the bio mom of my foster son that "Lisa's adopted daughter has been granted a wish through the Make a Wish foundation, so (Little One) will be able to benefit from that too." Word for word. I about died. I didn't want to go into it right then because to me that would just call more attention to it for the mom, but are you serious!? What right does she have to know anything about that. That was a complete breach of confidentiality and completely unprofessional!

Needless to say as soon as I returned home that evening and the kids were tucked away in bed, it boiled over in me. I sent an email, not raging but really stating how I felt about this situation and that it was completely wrong. I sent it to the supervisor, his supervisor, and her supervisor. The local office supervisor, who was at fault, sent me a two sentence email asking me to call him so that he could talk with me. I don't think so. I feel like he should call me. Then a little later I received an email from his supervisor apologizing for the incident and stating that she had tried calling my home number twice and the voice mail wasn't working right, but she would really like to meet with me about this. She said that she would be in town on Friday and asked if we could meet at 3 or 5pm. I responded that Little One's CASA worker was coming for a visit at 4:30 but that I would try to reschedule to meet with her at 5 since I am not off work until at least 3:20.

I just spoke with CASA and we pushed her visit back to 6:30, which means a late evening for the kids, but since it's Friday it'll be fine. I'm glad that the regional supervisor responded quickly and wants to meet, but really what can be done? I guess all I would like is for the office supervisor to acknowledge he shouldn't have said that, and that IF bio mom would want him moved due to this, that they will not allow that and will talk to her about the situation if it's needed. What else can you do? You can't take that back. And yes, possibly this info will be publicized locally, but if so that is our business to allow that. Not to mention that if it is now publicized and IF bio mom sees it, she will then know our last name. I doubt my picture would be or have been associated with the publicity, and she never would have connected me to this little girl. Now she will IF she were to see an article or something, which she may not. It's just a lot to think about and take in. I know I'm rambling, sorry, it's just hard to even think through all the aspects on this.