Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Case Review / Family Meeting

Little One had a case review yesterday. They have these every six months. I was unable to go to his last one as it was when we were in FL. I really wanted to be at this one to hear what's going on in his case and if they discussed the possibility of Grandma as a placement, but it was scheduled for 11am. To get a half day off from work, it is up to or from 12 noon. I didn't really have a way to take a half day with the time of the meeting but wanted to be there. They have been saying they were going to schedule a family meeting, (where the bio, foster, cw get together) soon but hadn't. I have NEVER had a family meeting for ANY foster child in fact, but these are supposed to be done every three months. So we set up a family meeting for yesterday afternoon and I took a half day. I also had a TB test for Girlie scheduled after that.

Anyway, it was very interesting, meeting the bio mom of the child I've been caring for for the past 13 months. After coming in the cw quickly intro'd us as he was still getting things together. She said "I just can't wait to get him back." and then we sat in the most uncomfortable silence ever! Seemed like forever even though it was only about 2 minutes. We had our meeting. She said I needed to put more lotion on him and wanted to know why he was being targeted with biting - he's not, he bites too and all in his room are "doing it" on occasion. I explained it was a developmental stage and that frustration and lack of communication skills make for some biting. She also wants to be included on all doctor visits. I was just listening and trying to be positive. I was glad to meet the person who gave birth to this special child. I love him so much, but how can you tell that to someone who sees you as the bad guy. She has said so much about me at past visits, etc and I know it's hard to know someone else is raising your child I can't imagine. But I wish she would have asked what he's like at "home." What makes him laugh, what makes him mad, what does he play with, who does he play with, where does he go, but she didn't. It makes me sad. I could tell actually that she wanted to say a lot more about what I was "doing wrong" but didn't. I guess I should be glad she didn't. It ended amicably and I told her I was glad to have finally met her. She seemed to feel the same.

BUT - during the visits I was outraged and couldn't believe it when they supervisor, who was present over the phone, asked the cw to talk about the "make a wish thing." WHAT???!!! I tried to staunch the discussion by saying "she" wasn't wishing for a trip and push it aside, but he continued. The cw said to the bio mom of my foster son that "Lisa's adopted daughter has been granted a wish through the Make a Wish foundation, so (Little One) will be able to benefit from that too." Word for word. I about died. I didn't want to go into it right then because to me that would just call more attention to it for the mom, but are you serious!? What right does she have to know anything about that. That was a complete breach of confidentiality and completely unprofessional!

Needless to say as soon as I returned home that evening and the kids were tucked away in bed, it boiled over in me. I sent an email, not raging but really stating how I felt about this situation and that it was completely wrong. I sent it to the supervisor, his supervisor, and her supervisor. The local office supervisor, who was at fault, sent me a two sentence email asking me to call him so that he could talk with me. I don't think so. I feel like he should call me. Then a little later I received an email from his supervisor apologizing for the incident and stating that she had tried calling my home number twice and the voice mail wasn't working right, but she would really like to meet with me about this. She said that she would be in town on Friday and asked if we could meet at 3 or 5pm. I responded that Little One's CASA worker was coming for a visit at 4:30 but that I would try to reschedule to meet with her at 5 since I am not off work until at least 3:20.

I just spoke with CASA and we pushed her visit back to 6:30, which means a late evening for the kids, but since it's Friday it'll be fine. I'm glad that the regional supervisor responded quickly and wants to meet, but really what can be done? I guess all I would like is for the office supervisor to acknowledge he shouldn't have said that, and that IF bio mom would want him moved due to this, that they will not allow that and will talk to her about the situation if it's needed. What else can you do? You can't take that back. And yes, possibly this info will be publicized locally, but if so that is our business to allow that. Not to mention that if it is now publicized and IF bio mom sees it, she will then know our last name. I doubt my picture would be or have been associated with the publicity, and she never would have connected me to this little girl. Now she will IF she were to see an article or something, which she may not. It's just a lot to think about and take in. I know I'm rambling, sorry, it's just hard to even think through all the aspects on this.


Julie said...

I cant believe that! What was the point of bringing that up? There was not one- and I didn't realize that you had had him for 13 months! What is the plan for him now? did they say? At a year- they should have to decide- well here they do- I am so sad for him- I can't imagine how confusing this is for him. I am beginning to see just how confused my G is and she is just a little older than he is I think. It is just wrong to keep these little ones in care for so long with visitation to bios if they aren't going back. I long for the day when G doesn't have to visit anymore. They have got to be thinking- " who is this person and why do I have to spend time with them?" It just sucks. :(

I pray you get some answers from the supervisors- this is just WRONG that they even spoke about O's wish- insane...

Post a Comment

Let's Connect!

Search This Blog


About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

Check out my Teachers Pay Teachers store!

Blog Archive

What you should know about HIV

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website:

Other Awesome Blogs

Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you