But, I did hit the fifty POUND mark in my quest to become healthy!!!  In fact, I blew right past it last night and am now at 51.8 pounds lost! :)  It's still hard for me to believe.  

I still see myself needing to lose weight, I do have more weight to lose, but it's hard for me to really take in the "me" I'm becoming.  I explained it to someone the other day as having to "retrain" my brain.

Most especially when I go shopping.  I used to shop only for the kids.  Besides having some fun buying things for myself for a change, I NEED to shop for myself.  I just don't have much to wear.  But making myself understand that I need the large tops, not the double X, and the smaller size pants than what I'm used to is HARD.  I've been overweight my entire life.  I don't know that I've ever bought some of the sizes I'm wearing now and I still have the feeling that I'll take it in the dressing room to find out that yep, I need a bigger size.

With clothes, I'm at a pretty good place right now, but as I continue to lose, I continue to need more.  I've found that many tops last longer than pants while losing though, so at least it's not constant.  But in the pants dept. I have gone down from an 18 to currently a 12 in most stores.  I bought four pair of pants the other day on major major clearance, size 12, thinking perfect for school in the fall and I should be able to wear them then.  Of course they were final sale, a new thing some stores have now.  For fun I tried them on the next night, they all fit!  And not just fit, but fit well!  So, I'm still going to be in need of clothes for work come Aug 19, but seeing as it's still a little while away, I'm going to wait on buying until it's closer. :)

I know that God has done so much through this process with working with me and working on changing my thought processes.  I pray He continues and that I continue to trust in Him for that guidance.  It's definately a work in progress and I'm glad weight takes time to lose.  I know it didn't get put on all at once, and by taking time to lose it, and doing it in a safe, life changing way, it's helped me on many levels.  

Many ask what diet I'm using.  I'm NOT dieting!  I've really worked on CHANGING how I view food, and myself, and the world around me.  This will not change once I lose what I hope to lose.  Actually then it will be even easier, and it's easy now, because I'll be maintaining and will be able to eat even more calories.  I already feel like some days I eat constantly.  It's all about what I choose to eat out of my alotted calories.

If you struggle with weight as I always did, please know that it IS possible.  Someone else, many others, HAVE done it.  You can too!