Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Frustrating Things

There are a few different things of being a foster parent that leave me boggled.

Why is it that the agency who place children in our homes feel that they can announce appointments, visits, etc at the last minute? Why do they think that if the child/children are in day care and they need to reschedule a visit that they do not have to tell you because the child is at day care anyway, it's no big deal?

Last week I was called at 11:47am on Tuesday, Little One's visit is always on Wednesday from 10-11, only to be "told" that they moved his visit to Tuesday and were currently at his day care to pick him up for his 12-2 visit. What? Unbelievable. Yes, I have no need nor desire to know where "my" child is when they're not with me, you're right. Not to mention that I know they knew about this for at least a week because my friend's visit was rescheduled for Little One's time and I had wondered what they were going to do since both were at the office as supervised visits. In addition, Tuesdays are our long days, and LO had a doctor appt after I picked him up. So, he had no nap, a dr appt at 4:15, dinner in the car, and then we took Olivia to cheerleading from 6-7. What a day, poor guy.

This week, Girlie's cw called Monday night to tell me her mom was in treatment about an hour away and they were moving her visit to Tuesday, the next day. (Hers is usually Wed also.) So she would be picked up at 12:30pm, and brought back at 3:30pm. I usually get her at 3:50 on Tuesdays so we can get the boys and go home for dinner before cheerleading (no dr appts this week). I called at 3:45 to see if she was back yet and she wasn't! I had no idea where she was or how much longer it would be. I decided to run some errands and even found a new outfit for myself for Dream Halloween tonight. (I never splurge on myself!) At 4:41pm the case aid who had taken her to her visit called and asked where to take her as they were just getting into town. I asked why they were so late. He laughed and said that the visit had been moved back an hour and that it was the cw job to tell me, sorry. I picked her up at 5 right after she had been dropped off. So another Tues with dinner in the car on the way to cheerleading. I called and emailed the cw and the supervisor about this. The cw NEVER responded. I did get an email from the supervisor who said that the visit had been moved back a half hour and the cw didn't think it would be a big deal. He then said the case aid got lost on the way there and stopped for food for them on the way back. (Would explain why the healthy snacks I packed weren't eaten.) Well, if all that is true, why didn't he apologize on the phone when I talked to him and tell me he had gotten lost, etc? That would have made sense. The case aid has been "caught" telling lies about my friend who is a foster parent and I'm not about to join that bandwagon. This is ridiculous. He has my cell, he could've called and explained he was going to be late. But no. We foster parents just sit around and have no life except for our foster kids and their schedule.

Why is it also that we who are with, see, take care of 24/7 the child/children in our care can't make a simple decision such as getting their hair cut!!???

Little One has not had his hair cut since last MAY, when I had finally hounded them enough that they got mom to say she would get the money for it. She wanted to take him, and not let me. But on it dragged until I finally gave the cw the money and said to tell her it was from the agency. So she got it cut (after about 3 more weeks). About $8. I have again been hounding them for the last couple months. Mom was going to have the money the first of this month, then had to spend it on something else. If she can't even afford $8 to get his hair cut, when she has no other expenses for him right now, no bday gifts, nothing, how can she afford to care for him full time??? So I emailed the cw and supervisor as to what is the solution??? The cw called mom to see if I could take him, no. The supervisor emailed to say that five months was a lot of time and maybe mom could meet me at a hair place to get it done? She has been one to say a lot about me without ever meeting me, one reason he has a CASA worker. I said that would be fine if the cw or aid were there also. He talked to her Wed at her visit and got it ok'd for me to take him and then keep it up. It was cut last night. Looks much better, but I had to get it cut like how she did it last time. Not the way I would do it, but at least it's short again! :)

Frustrations! :)


Julie said...

CWs drive me crazy too- hang in there- ugh!

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About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

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But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
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