Monday, March 13, 2006

And the wait goes on...

Nothing new on the adoption front. It seems like that's all this is: a Wait. The mentality being "The kids are safe, why worry about a piece of paper making it official." Because it is so much more than that. Not only for us as parents, but for the children too. If they are even 3 they understand permanence. Not the same way they will understand it one, three, even ten years from now, but they understand. They know their name is different from yours. They know they are "just your foster child." No amount of stability can change that.

J and I talk frequently about adoption. Her little face gets this huge grin from ear to ear as she says "You're going to adopted me!" No, that's not a typo! She says adopted, even though I've explained it's "adopt." :) At church a few weeks ago the minister spoke of a verse with the word "adoption" in it. J happened to be in the service with me that day instead of her class. She looked at me with that same huge grin and whispered the same message.

We talk also about names. I know this can be very controversial, but I have prayed and let God, and the kids decide. J knows her last name will change when that day comes and the judge declares we are a "forever family." Also, since getting B at birth and knowing his situation, I chose a name for him shortly after his placement. Since B isn't his legal name anyway, I wanted to name him when that official day happened. So, he has a name that we call him from time to time around the house. He knows himself by that name as well. It's mostly that name and B put together. I have talked to J since she came to live with me about why I call him that other name on occasion. She understands, and began stating that she wanted to change her name too. I'm perfectly happy with her keeping her name, but she is adament. We will often "visit" that conversation and then I "shelve" it for a later date. After 6 months or so of these talks, and the pending termination, we talked more seriously. For her age, she seemed to really understand what changing her name meant and was able to tell me why she wanted to. I spoke to her about at least keeping J as a middle name, and she lit up at the idea. So, the process began. I ended up choosing six names to begin with that I really loved. Of those, she did not like two so we crossed those out on paper, and talked about the other four. She was repeatedly drawn to one in particular. As before I would shelve the subject for a while, then bring it up again later. She continued being interested in the same name. I still wasn't fully convinced she understood the seriousness of changing her name. The other day she convinced me. We were on the couch reading books when she said, "When I change my name, my friends at school might not know right away that I have a new name. It's ok if they still call me J because that will be my middle name. Then they can learn my new first name." I smiled. I told her that what we would probably do would be to call her J (new first name) for a while so that everyone, including her could get used to the new name. Then, after a short time, we could drop the Jakala and everyone would know her new name. She was thrilled, great idea mom! :)

Other than that, the wait for permanency goes on...

Let's Connect!

Search This Blog


About Me

I am a single mom to four amazing kids; each of whom just happen to have been adopted. The first three were adopted through foster care, and we just completed an international adoption from Haiti. Our family has grown through adoption and I am all the more blessed to know each of my children. I worship a mighty God, teach Special Ed, love bargains, and am inspired by Pinterest... come along with us for the ride!

Olivia - 14

Olivia - 14

Braeden - 11

Braeden - 11

Liam - 9

Liam - 9

Macy - 5

Macy - 5

Check out my Teachers Pay Teachers store!

Blog Archive

What you should know about HIV

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). - HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. - People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. Additional information on transmission of HIV can be found on the Center for Disease Control website:

Other Awesome Blogs

Orphan Crisis

• 147 million orphans in the world
• 50 million orphans in Africa 
• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS
• 16,000,000 have been orphaned by AIDS
• Every week, AIDS claims as many lives as American fatalities in the Vietnam War
• 854 million people do not have enough to eat
• Malnutrition is associated with the deaths of 5 million children under the age of five
• Every 2 seconds an orphan dies from malnutrition

Hence the title of my blog

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that the road would be so rocky
Little did I know that the trip would take so long
Little did I know that my heart could hurt so much
Little did I know that God is never wrong

Little did I know that love could be so powerful
Little did I know that a dream so far could go
Little did I know that God would place the right ones
Little did I know that my heart, so large, could grow

Little did I know that a dream has it’s own timing
Little did I know that this day would finally come
Little did I know that four souls would be sent to guide me
Little did I know that they would choose to call me mom

But God knew all along and He had a plan to follow
God knew all along that my dream would soon come true
God knew all along that we five should be together
God knew all along that I’d share it all with you