We lost touch after that. Although we still had his address and phone number, I wasn't pushing her to keep up correspondence and she didn't feel like doing so. Not too long ago she was able to reconnect through texts and has been texting since. When he asked her to come to his graduation she was on the fence about what the best decision was. Was this the best way to do a first time meeting after so long? But in the end, with an amazing friend offering to watch the kids, she knew how important this day was for them both.
Olivia was extremely nervous and anxious, especially in the week leading up to the ceremony. She slept little and worried and wondered how it would all play out.
I think I was almost as anxious myself. A lot of big emotions playing into this trip and visit.
We both were pretty nauseous through the day but overall it went very well. She wasn't able to see him face to face until a while after the ceremony. He stalled coming to meet her because he was just as nervous. Although we weren't able to stay long, it was a good first visit. They look and act so much alike! 😊
After leaving I felt a tremendous release. I don't think I even realized how very much I was in a fog of nerves and anxiety myself over this past week. I felt buoyant and a million times lighter and re energized.
The ride home for Olivia was spent processing the day and cycling from nerves to relief to joy and then finally to a place of grief and sadness.
She misses him terribly and I suspect has pushed those feelings aside for so long, not wanting to subject herself to grieving repeatedly things that are out of her control. He was her caretaker. Her guardian. Her confidant. Her protector. The one constant, good part of her life in those early formative years.
And she will hopefully use this as a stepping stone to a new and strengthened relationship.
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