Getting the Boot

Well, yesterday was it. Girlie has officially gotten the boot from day care as of Monday! She had two incidents of biting and scratching Wednesday, which I didn't know about because she was picked up by the case aide for her visit and I got her from there. Then yesterday she had 3 more! They did allow her to return today.

I called the cw when I got her yesterday but she wasn't in. I asked to talk to the supervisor. I told him the situation and that I could not take a day off to run around, get medical forms and applications, pay a registration fee, etc. I said that this is something we've been working on and they've known about since she started there almost two months ago. The person I want her to go to still doesn't have her license, and won't until AT LEAST the 17th. I said she has no where to go as of Monday and I needed them to figure this out as I just couldn't right now. I have reported every single incident to them, all they've done is observe her one day and call to have her screened for help through Child and Family connections. They had to know this was coming.

This morning I still hadn't heard from anyone and called around 10:15. I left a msg and the cw called back shortly later. She said that they were talking to DCFS to see if they could get the person's license through quickly as they hated for her to transition so much. I completely agree. The cw then called back at 2:30 to say that DCFS won't budge and do I have any family or anyone in the area whom they could pay to watch her? What!!?? Are you kidding? Why do you think I've already used 6 of my 10 sick days so far this year??? I have NO ONE to watch the kids! DUH! So she said they would figure it out. They better, or I guess Girlie is accompanying them to work at 7am Monday morning! :)

Information to Share

As I am now Olivia's legal mom, there is a part of her which as a foster parent I was unable to share. Since becoming in all ways "legal" Olivia and I have decided to no longer keep this part of her life hidden away. On her adoption day I sent out letters to close friends and family letting them know of this part of Olivia's life. Now I share this with you.

Olivia is HIV positive.

You can read more about Olivia and her "condition" on my other, until now anonymous, blog:

hivchild.blogspot.com

I want to help educate the public. I don't want my daughter or others to have to feel like they need to hide a part of who they are. That they have to be ashamed and secretive. People need to know there is nothing to fear. Yes, HIV can be scary, but it is not the death sentence it used to be. Many with HIV are living close to normal life expectancies. HIV is not something you "catch", it is "hard" to "get." There has never been a situation where someone living with a person with HIV has contracted it themselves. It can only be passed in very specific ways.

There are many good websites with good information out there now.

In addition, Olivia will soon be granted a wish through Make a Wish!!! We are so excited! They should be contacting us soon to meet her and start her wish process.

I hope you will continue to support and follow us through our journey.

Friday Night

Good news today. A friend from my other building emailed me today and asked if the kids and I would be interested in a free hotel stay this Friday. She had a voucher she had won in a raffle, I think, and it expires Friday. She has been unable to use it and wondered if we were interested. Are we??? Yes! the kids will think they're on vacation! They LOVE hotels! They LOVE swimming! My friend and I usually do game night now on Fridays with her 4 year old and Braeden and Olivia so we're doing swimming this week instead. What a blessing! We need it right now! It's been a long couple of weeks!!! :)

Pictures

Here is my attempt to show you Olivia's adoption day pictures. They turned out so great. Hope they come in clear for you...

The Big Day

Yesterday was great! Went off without a hitch. The night before I found out that the time had been moved up to 9:30 instead of 10. Ok. But all went well. Braeden was a nut. He was going crazy. Thank goodness my friend was there to help, and that the GAL had dum dums! :) It was really funny though when everyone kept pronouncing Olivia's original name wrong and Braeden practically yelled, "(NAME) - that is a funny word!" Oh my! LOL! This judge seemed much more personable though than our last. He actually got off the bench for a pic at the end where the other stayed seated.

Besides court we went to IHOP for breakfast, her fave restaurant, (she adores sausage!), then after we dropped Braeden back at day care, picked up my friends daughter, and took them both up north some to the mall where Pic People resides. We lost our Pic People last spring! :( For Braedn's adoption I splurged and got the three pic frame and pics on his day, so wanted to do the same for her. She took GREAT pictures. It was SO hard to pick! Got a really good one showcasing her two missing teeth! I wish I could post them, but I have no scanner. Maybe I'll try to take a pic of her tri frame and post that??? We'll see. We also did some shopping while we were there and got a few great deals. Olivia picked her bookbag and lunch box for NEXT year!!! :) Disney Store had a huge sale where sale merch. was addtl 25% off! So backpacks were $7.50 and lunchboxes about $4! Not bad. She got another Ariel, she loves Ariel. So that was the day, action packed and went well.! :)

As Olivia said yesterday, "Now I'm a ******* Family!" (last name) :)

Tomorrow's The Big Day!!!

Olivia's Adoption!!!

Blessings Abound

I have had an incredibly long and basically horrendous day.

Instead of talking about that, I want to share a blessing.

I've heard of, and seen on shows like the Duggars, where families are blessed with "gifts." One blog I read recently really convicted me to pray over things we "need." She had an incredibly long, extensive list of things for her family of 10, including bunk beds, etc. and prayed over it. Within just a few days she marked off everything on the list for less than $200. It was amazing, if you only could have seen this list!

Anyway, I received an email from one of the youth pastors at our church. They had a bike donated and wanted to pass it along to a family. They thought of us first. Wow. Now, we do have two bikes. One smaller and one larger, but we also have two other kids up and coming now. I said we appreciated the thought and would love to see it. What a blessing!

Day Care Poop!

Braeden finally pooped in the toilet at day care. It was a banner day for him! :) Go Braeden!!!

Two More Sick Days Down

Two more... Only, what, five or six left for the entire school year??? Oh my.

Something is going on with Girlie. No one seems to know, and everyone seems to think I'm crazy. Thursday day care called to say that she had thrown up. I had to pick her up. When I got there within the hour, she was acting like always. No fever, nothing. Went home, got some things done around the house, then at lunch, threw up again. We tried saltines and then chicken noodle soup for dinner and she kept it down. Seemed like herself, except that she kept pointing to her mouth but I checked and although couldn't get a great look, her throat looked ok.

Friday, slept constantly. So unlike her, even for being sick, she is not a sleeper. I called at 11 and got her in to the doctor at 11:30. At 1 we finally saw the doctor. She slept on me the entire time in the waiting room. He checked her over very well, but found nothing, no great look in her mouth either, same as me. Still no fevers or more throwing up. He said to keep her on a bland diet and watch her. Slept the next 2 hours until it was time to pick up the kids and then was "fine" the rest of the day.

Saturday - tired and cranky in the morning, but then acting ok. Pointed to her mouth again that afternoon and this time stuck out her tongue really well. I noticed on the back of her tongue - not throat - that she had 5-6 very large taste buds/ nodules/ whatever??? Haven't seen anything like it. I called the doctor and the on-call person, someone I don't know, called back. He basically didn't believe me as to what I saw and said to just watch her for breathing or choking problems. Still no fevers or throwing up.

Sunday, tried a little yogurt and grapes, first dairy and citrusy fruit since Thurs. On the way to church, sure enough, threw up all over her car seat. We turned around and drove back. Changed her and her car seat to the old one. Packed a bag and the DVD player and headed to the ER. We actually got in pretty quickly. Of course you never know when the doctors will come and she had JUST put two cheerios in her mouth when the dr. came in. She was a bit patronizing. Looked around at the kids and said that Of course I'm the "expert" but that she had only been with me a month or so and this was most likely her adjustment to a new location. I said I had never had an adjustment like this and that she has been doing great. There is something else. I tried to tell her about the large whatevers on the back of her tongue, but she said all she saw was cheerios. She didn't even wait for her to swallow and look again!!! She said there was no problem for her to go to day care and to stay away from dairy for now. I asked if she could write a note as day care follows a food plan and wouldn't just take my word. She said you mean the day care won't listen if a mom wants her child off milk for a while. I said, they have to follow the food plan. She was not the nicest. I did get a note.

She went to day care today and about the same, tired in the am, but then acting fine. I have no idea. Her caseworker got her an appt with her doctor for tomorrow at 12:20 and will take her there. I am glad. Something is going on. With her previous heart surgery, I did tell you she had open heart surgery right???, I am scared to death that something could become a big issue and I certainly don't want that to happen. This stinks. I hate using sick days because I know I'll need them as the year progresses, and I hate having something wrong with one of my kids and no one figuring out what. I pray they find something tomorrow.

Thursday's the big day - Olivia's adoption!!! :)

What a week.

My Big Boy

Braeden is just getting too big! Although we had "poop" a while ago, I am not so sure now that it was his. I know, what? Our toliet doesn't work real well, I need to get the flap changed. It often leaks out the water from the tank, so to flush you have to push down the lever inside, wait for it to fill, and then flush. Olivia has been given strict instructions to tell me when she poops, so I can make sure it's flushed right away. do you think she does? NO! :) Anyway, long story short I think it was her poop and he saw it and thought it was his??? Since then, no dice. This weekend I kept him naked at home, and what do you know? He knew exactly when he had to go, and went!

Last night I stripped him down again! :) He pooped in the toliet! What do you know? :) He was so excited, he wanted to wear "Big Boy Panties." No, you read that right, and no, I didn't tell him they were called that! I try to tell him they are pants or underwear, but no they are panties he tells me. Well, he was then adament upon wearing them to bed. I told him it probably wasn't a good idea, that they may get wet, but no luck. So, I brought his potty chair up to the bedroom and told him that if he had to go, to use that, but NOT to call me because he went, that he could show me in the morning. He was DRY this morning! But, there was a big wet spot on the carpet! He couldn't find the potty in the dark! :) So tonight we'll make a way for him to know where it is! :) He was SOOOOO proud! (Olivia doesn't even stay dry at night. She wets every single night and has since she came to live with me 2 1/2 years ago. She wears a diaper to bed - pullups just got too expensive - and puts it on by herself. Some nights she even wets so much that her bed and her are soaked anyway!) So, this was a big deal for Braeden! :)

Maybe it helped that I told him that soon I was going to start potty training Girlie. didn't want to be beaten out??? :)
A funny story - Girlie got some nice toys for her birthday this weekend. A Dora you can brush, play mixer, and My Little Pony from my parents, a bath toy from my friend, and a Strawberrry Shortcake doll and horse from us. Aside from the bunny I had bought her when she first came, and a doll I gave her, these are her ONLY toys. (We have a plethora that she plays with, but these are HERS.) Of course she was thrilled and wanted to play play play. What do the rest of the kids want to play with? HER toys!!! Braeden had one that she wanted and I told him he neeed to let her play with it and that he had lots of toys to play with. He gave the biggest pout and said, "But Mama, I don't have a STrawberry Shortcake!" It was too cute.

Birthdays

Girlie had a great day yesterday. McDonalds was fine. Bio mom asked a lot of appropriate questions about her, wanting to know about her day, etc. I've had parents in the past who have basically ignored their child during the visit, only to grill me about MY life. She only fed Girlie french fries for lunch which was interesting. I had gotten each of the kids half a cheeseburger, some fries, and some apples. Girlie only touched the fries and her mom just kept giving her more, plus holding containers of ketchup (she went through 2 or 3!). Her mom said how much she loves fries. I kept thinking, yes but shouldn't she eat some other things too??? But I didn't say a word. Mom did well with her. There was one time where she came to me instead of mom and I think it hurt mom's feelings a little, but I played it off as her being silly. The funniest was when mom took her shoes off in the play area and I thought to myself, "That is where Girlie gets her flat feet!" They both have the flattest feet I've ever seen! :) It was cute. I brought some pics that I printed out for her and put in a little albumn, and my camera to take some pics as well. You can tell that she dressed "up" so to speak, trying to make the best impression. A little low cut and short, but most likely her nicest outfit. :) She asked toward the end if I was busy next Friday, she wants Girlie's ears repierced as she is afraid the holes have grown closed. I can't imagine trying to keep earrings in her! She doesn't even keep "pretties" in her hair, but pulls them out and breaks them! I told her I didn't know as I didn't have my calendar. I'm thinking if she really wants to do that they can do it during a visit. Plus, the cw paid for our meal and she brought nothing like a cake or gift, so I don't know how she could afford to pay for her ears. I'm not. Olivia can't get hers pierced until she's 10. :) I also was a bit taken aback at the end when she walked out to the car with us. Olivia asked where she was going and I said she was going to her car to go home too, she said Oh, my ride left I was going to ask if you could drop me off. I did, no problem, but I was surprised. PLUS, my school ID was sitting on the floor and I quickly covered it up. I don't want her to know my last name. You just never know. All in all, I would say it went well.

Big Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Girlie's birthday!!! Since she really hasn't been with us long, we're not doing anything major, just my friend J and her foster daughter will come over in the evening for cake and ice cream. I found some cute Barbie princess cups, napkins, and plates on sale. My parents sent presents and we'll have some for her as well.

Yesterday her cw called and said that it was completely up to me, but Girlie's bio mom had called asking if she could meet us at McDonald's on Sunday for her birthday? I asked her what she thought. With Braeden I was told to never meet them, and I'm glad I didn't. They would have thrown a fit over the fact I'm white, and we ended up at one point having to get a court order of protection due to things said in court by his bio father. Girlie's cw said she thinks it will be fine. She said that mom has been raving over how happy she seems, how much weight she has put on, etc. She told mom that she is to bring no one else and that we wouldn't be sharing last names, etc. I think it could be good. Since Girlie was taken from aunt's, mom has "shaped up to try." She was fine to know she was with a relative, even though mom and she don't speak or see each other at all. I'm hoping she'll see that she is in a good home, well cared for, and maybe she'll even have the "sense" to not "draw it out" and will reliquinsh rights willingly??? One can hope anyway.

I am nervous, but I think God has provided this opportunity and I'm going to utilize it for all it's worth. Worse case, she hates me and we're really not any worse off, but at least Girlie sees us together and hopefully that will help her sense of self.

More From Day Care

Oh my poor Girlie, what are we going to do with you. I guess I should've waited to make my post until later in the day. Upon picking her up today from day care, I was met by the Director. Girlie bit someone yesterday, which I wasn't told of. I had picked her up in the front when the cw dropped her off from her visit. Today, she bit TWO more kids, and is going for faces now each time! The Director said that they usually disenroll children like this after two of these instances, but since she knows I am making the agency aware of the situation, etc will work with me if they will put some type of support in place. What, therapy??? Sure, it sounds great, but she isn't verbal enough or mature enough to understand this. You can't reason with her like a 4 or even 3 year old. Even an older two year old. I don't know what I'll do if they say she can't return. I can't take days off to get a new day care figured out with paperwork and such. And if she moves somewhere else, it will most likely happen there as well. Really I am surprised that they aren't watching her more closely. She bit Tues and left a bruise, and was then able to bite again Wed and twice Thurs??? Where is the supervision??? The Director said that one of the parents complained. I would too, I understand, but what are they doing about it there? Tomorrow I will be asking. The documentation always says they "talked" to her about biting. She's not even two. Don't talk to her - say "We don't bite" and sit her down for a few min, that is what we did here and we don't have the issues like that. She HATES time out, it works pretty well for her, I'm going to suggest they try it. Pray for us. I do NOT want to be one of those foster parents who "gives up" so to speak and ends up just a bump in the road for her. She NEEDS stability!!!

Girlie

I've talked some I think about Girlie's aggressiveness. It's pretty much nul and void at home anymore. Olivia, Braeden, and I watch for it and don't let her "get away with it" so she has mostly stopped, but they see it at day care. There are a lot of kids in the class at that age, with ony 2-3 teachers. It's hard to watch them constantly. I get that. But we've had many instances of biting, some hiting, some scratching. Usually when she wants something someone else has, or thinks someone is invading her space or playthings. She's been bit too, so I know it's not just her, but I'm sure she's the worst. I keep the accident reports and pass them on to the case worker so she knows what's going on.

Well, it had been declining at day care so I thought we were on the road to "recovery." Tuesday she bit a boy's cheek where it even bled a bit and bruised. I feel bad for these parents. I certainly hope they can understand that sometimes even little ones have led horrible lives and have seen attrocities, and that even little ones have learned ways of fight or flight. As I process things with the cw, she tells me more details of her past. Not things a child under 2 should have seen or endured. No wonder she lashes out to "protect" herself, for I think this is what she believes. I only pray for the future. Even if she does stay here, is it enough. Did we "catch" her soon enough? Can love and stability and security make that much of a difference to combat this? I'd like to think so, I'd like to believe the best in everyone can be achieved through love and patience and a decent home, but can it? I hope...

Equipment

We spent the equipment voucher yesterday! :) Girlie has a new white crib that turns into a toddler day bed (we're putting it up as a day bed to start actually), crib mattress, convertible 5-40 lb car seat, crib mattress pad, two white crib sheets, a cute purple very soft blanket, and 6 boxes of diapers!!! :) I bought her a Pottery Barn Kids toddler quilt and crib skirt on ebay, but new, for cheap and it looks so cute! Haven't gotten it yet, but it has deep pinks like the walls in their room, white and green. I also have a PBK dark pink and white gingham sheet and the two new plain white ones. We (Braeden and I ! ) put together the day bed tonight, but then I put on a guard rail, it just looked too high off the ground. So far so good, she hasn't tried to get out or anything. :) The car seat is great, it fits so much better! I love equipment vouchers! :)

I emailed Braeden's preschool teacher asking about his assignment and she emailed back that she would just say something simple such as "Who lives at your house?" They would then write a name on an apple to put on their family tree. She thanked me for the email saying that she needed to really start thinking more of family dynamics now a days since it's not leave it to beaver. It was funny. I'm glad that's "solved." :)

My class, I pine for my kids. I wonder what their future holds. We tried a "simple" addition game today. They were in three groups of two, went to the board one group at a time to complete a problem. The first group, NO CLUE. I mean, we're talking 2 + 3, literally. I told them they could write out the problem, or draw a picture to solve it. They started drawing pictures. I mean, really, drawing pictures. One was drawing a boy, the other started drawing the ground and sky. Oh. My. Gosh. My assistant and I role played for them how to solve the problems on the board- writing the problem "normally" or drawing dots or lines - they still had a VERY hard time with even 1 + 2. NO CLUE. The other two pairs were much better, but still had a hard time. I just feel like I'm treading water, spinning my wheels, whatever analogy holds your interest. I have no idea where to even begin or how to approach things. Following a simple direction such as get your supply boxes, is met with kids staying in their seats and staring blankly at me. AHHHHH!!!! After lunch we tried that request again and I PRAISED like heck the two kids who stood up to get them, after a couple more got up and got praised, the rest of the 7 followed suit and I was gushing over them! Whatever it takes! We keep plugging away though, and I do see SOME progress in procedures, etc. so I guess that's a start. It's just hard to even know what to plan right now. Hopefully it will get easier. I pray for them.